Everyday thousands of children are being sexually abused. You can stop the abuse of at least one child by simply praying. You can possibly stop the abuse of thousands of children by forwarding the link in First Time Visitor? by email, Twitter or Facebook to every Christian you know. Save a child or lots of children!!!! Do Something, please!

3:15 PM prayer in brief:
Pray for God to stop 1 child from being molested today.
Pray for God to stop 1 child molestation happening now.
Pray for God to rescue 1 child from sexual slavery.
Pray for God to save 1 girl from genital circumcision.
Pray for God to stop 1 girl from becoming a child-bride.
If you have the faith pray for 100 children rather than one.
Give Thanks. There is more to this prayer here

Please note: All my writings and comments appear in bold italics in this colour

Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts

Sunday, 22 September 2024

Drugs and Kids > Georgia school shooter didn't have a chance with parents from Hell

 

Mom of alleged Georgia school shooter Colt Gray charged

with abusing her own mother, taping her to chair


A Georgia woman whose teenage son allegedly killed four people at Apalachee High School has been accused of taping her elderly mother to a chair, stealing her phone and damaging her home, according to a report.

Marcee Gray was indicted Monday in Ben Hill County, Ga., for the alleged abuse of her own mom, Deborah Polhamus in November — who was bound to a chair for almost 24 hours in her Fitzgerald home, The Atlanta-Journal Constitution reported.

Gray, 43, was slapped with several charges including, exploitation and intimidation of a elderly person, false imprisonment, criminal damage to property in the second degree, and theft, the outlet reported.

Marcee Gray has been charged with exploitation and intimidation of a elderly person, false imprisonment, criminal damage to property and theft.
Ben Hill County Sheriff's Office

She could face up to 20 years in jail for the top charge of felony elder exploitation.

Her son, Colt Gray, 14, has been accused of fatally shooting two students and two teachers at his school last month.

The abuse occurred Nov. 3, after Gray demanded Polhamus accompany her as she was about to angrily confront her ex, Colin Gray, authorities said.

When Polhamus refused to go, Gray taped her to a chair, stole her iPhone and damaged a bathroom mirror and the back door of the older woman’s home, authorities alleged

“Marcee became upset and told Deborah that she was making her go with her because she was going to kill her ex,” according to the incident report.

Colt Gray, 14, allegedly killed two students and two teachers at his school last month.
Colt Gray, 14, allegedly killed two students and two teachers at his school last month.
BARROW COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE/HANDOUT HANDOUT/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock

Deborah stated she refused to go and Marcee threw her up against the wall causing a cut on her left wrist. Marcee stated that since Deborah wasn’t going she was going to tie her to a chair and take her phone so she wouldn’t call anyone,” according to the document.

It’s unclear why Marcee was trying to confront her son’s father, with whom she had a contentious relationship.

Polhamus was finally discovered the next day by the friend of her daughter Annie Brown, who lives in Florida. Brown told police she became worried after her mother wasn’t picking up her phone and asked one of her friends to check on her.

Polhamus suffered an injured wrist and bruises from the incident, but told cops she “did not want to see Marcee being a felon for the rest of her life,” according to the incident report.

“Deborah explained that she agreed that Marcee needed to be punished for what she [had] done, but she wanted Marcee to get help for her drug addiction,” the incident report states.

Is this why Colt was living with his father?

In April, Gray, who has a lengthy rap sheet spanning nearly two decades, was granted a $5,700 bond in Ben Hill County in connection with the incident, AJC reported.

A former neighbor told The Post earlier this month that Gray would sometimes lock Colt and his sister out of the house at night.

Please pray for Colt's sister. I can't imagine what she is going through.

Gray’s father, Charles Polhamus, disputed claims that his daughter abused Colt, who had been living with his dad at the time of the shooting.

“Marcee never did anything to Colt,” he added. “All she did is help him out.”

She was a drug addict with a 20-year rap sheet. How does that help him out?

Colt Gray was arrested the day of the shooting and charged as an adult with four counts of murder. Colin Gray, who allegedly bought his son an AR-15 rifle for Christmas, was also hit with murder charges for allegedly supplying the weapon used in the shooting.

So, if Marcee had been successful in murdering Colin last November, that school shooting might never have happened!

The father and son did not enter a plea during their Sept. 6 court appearances.

Colt had texted his mother, “I’m sorry” on the morning of the shooting, and Gray had called the school in a bid to warn them about her son 30 minutes before the gunfire began. She later insisted to the public in an apology for her son’s harrowing attack that Colt “is not a monster.”

More like a victim, I would say.




Monday, 1 January 2018

Cheated Out of Justice - One Survivor's Story

By age 14, Makell’s mother was shooting narcotics into her veins in the bathroom of the family’s Florida home, then selling her to strange men for sex, sometimes for as little as a single prescription pill.

Makell Ware and her adoptive mother Holly Ware

DAYTONA BEACH — It started with a pill — a sedative before bed, a powerful painkiller to cure a headache. The dosage grew gradually, turning teenager Makell Graves into an addict. Then the injections started.

From that point, Makell can recall her childhood only in fits and fragments, mangled in her memory by the trauma that followed.

What she does remember she’d rather not conjure — nauseating visions of being bound and battered as old men violated her body and mind.

Afterward, her mother would drive her home.

“I’ve kind of always known there was something different between my life and other kids,” Makell, now 19, told The News-Journal. She has undergone extensive therapy to combat her addiction and restore her mental health. “I don’t really know if I ever realized what was going on because when you’re a kid, you automatically think to trust your parents, and that’s what I did.”

By age 14, Makell’s mother was shooting narcotics into her veins in the bathroom of the family’s DeBary home, then selling her to strange men for sex, sometimes for as little as a single prescription pill.

The drugs wiped many markers of time and place from Makell’s memory. But she thinks the drugs and sexual abuse went on for about two years before local law enforcement poured into her quiet neighborhood and removed her and her sister to safety.

Makell’s parents, Michael and Cynthia Graves, were arrested three months later. But under Florida law, the parents were able to trade pleas for light penalties. Meanwhile, Makell’s sentence stretches out before her with no end in sight.

Feeling “cheated” out of justice by the punishment meted out to her parents, Makell has come forward, identifying herself in the media to advance her intent to push legislators to strengthen Florida’s statute on human trafficking.

Sex trafficking “is not happening somewhere far away from us like everyone thinks,” Makell said. “It’s literally happening all around you. People either choose to ignore it or they have no idea what it is.”

‘You don’t have to lie anymore’

Holly Ware wasn’t expecting the frantic voice she heard when she answered a call from Cynthia Graves. “They’re taking my kids!” Graves screamed. “Please don’t let my kids go to foster care.”

Ware loved Makell’s younger sister, Kaytee, like a daughter. Her longtime partner had a daughter Kaytee’s age and the two girls were close friends.

Kaytee had spent three summers and countless weekends at Ware’s home. “Mama Holly,” as Ware was known, often had paid for Kaytee’s school clothes, immunizations and doctor visits.

Kaytee was a “good girl” who talked about “God and boys,” Ware said. When Ware drove Kaytee home, she’d see Makell outside, scantily clad and smoking a cigarette. Ware thought Makell was a stoner and a street thug.

After hearing Graves’ phoned plea that late summer afternoon in 2014, Ware agreed to meet the girls at a state Department of Children and Families facility where they were taken to be interviewed.

There, she got the full story.

Graves had decided to pick Kaytee up early from her Orange City middle school. She took Makell, who hadn’t been to class in two years, along for the drive.

On their way home, a neighbor called with a warning: Law enforcement had surrounded the Graves residence.

Graves went home anyway. When they arrived, Volusia County deputies escorted Makell and Kaytee inside to pack their bags. Later at the DCF office, Ware’s assumptions about Makell were shattered in seconds.

″(FBI agents) said (Makell’s parents) have been IV drugging Makell and selling her to their drug dealers, and that’s called human trafficking,” Ware recalled. “My jaw fell to the floor. I just thought she was this little pothead. I felt shame for judging her.”

That was all it took to shift Ware into “mama bear” mode. “You’re gonna come stay with me,” she told Makell. “You’re gonna be safe.”


Makell was skeptical. The first time investigators questioned her, she lied.

“Both my parents would coach me into thinking (what they did to me) was OK, and if anything were to happen, to take the fall for it so they wouldn’t get in trouble,” Makell said.

Ware convinced her to come clean.

″(Ware) looked at me and said, ‘Makell, I know you don’t know me like that, but (the authorities) know everything and you don’t have to lie anymore,’” Makell recalled. “And I said OK.”

Ware’s daughter, Reagan, was waiting for Makell outside the interview room. “She just hugged me,” Makell said, blinking back tears. “I will never forget that day.”

That night, Makell slept on a mattress in Ware’s living room. Ware stayed close on the couch to remind Makell she was safe.

“I slept for the first time in two years,” Makell said.


Sold for sex

Arrest reports fill in some of the memory gaps Makell would prefer to leave empty.

They tell how Robert Richards, 60-year-old owner of Fresh Off the Hook restaurant in DeLand, handcuffed Makell’s hands behind her back and then to a bedpost while he raped her with an object as another young woman watched.

When Richards was finished, Cynthia Graves picked up Makell and the other young woman — one of several Graves prostituted, records show — demanded payment from Richards and drove to Deltona to purchase pills.

Makell was 14.

She usually was “sedated” during sexual encounters, but not always. Sometimes, Makell recalled, her mother would say, “We need money so we can get our drugs, so I need you to do this. It kind of just became like a normalcy or routine in my life for a while.”

Makell thinks she was 12 the first time her parents medicated her. She had watched them openly abuse drugs for years. “They didn’t try to hide it,” she said.

They fed her progressively stronger pills, and then began injecting liquefied narcotics — Dilaudid, Xanax, oxycodone — into her arms, buttocks and between her fingers. Once her parents started shooting her up with drugs, Makell said her memories became muddled.

“There were times when I would wake up in someone’s house, or I have little memories of driving to Sanford or just like little bits here and there,” she said. “But, you know, the more time that I try to heal, I remember more and more from flashbacks and dreams and stuff like that.”

She recalls a Sanford neighborhood haunted by drug dealers, addicts and prostitutes. ”(My mother) knew everyone in that neighborhood,” Makell said.

Graves could count on collecting cash from two Sanford men in particular, an informant told investigators. To one, Graves sold shoplifted steaks. To the other, she sold Makell.

Police reports refer to those buyers as “James” and “Reggie.” Reggie was an active member of the military, according to an informant. Reggie rented hotel rooms for sex acts with Makell and her mother to hide his illicit activities from his wife. Neither man has been prosecuted.

Makell believes her mother sold her to eight different men, including at least three in Seminole County. Only two of the men — both in West Volusia — have been publicly identified.

Richards, the DeLand restaurant owner, was a regular. His reputed preference for underage girls attracted FBI attention. Besides Makell, Richards liked to hire young female employees he could entice with money or gifts in exchange for after-hours sex, a confidential source told investigators.

Cynthia Graves planned to start selling Kaytee as well, the source said, but Makell intervened. “No, take me,” Makell insisted.

Richards was arrested Dec. 17, 2014, the same day as Makell’s parents. He was charged with child abuse and two counts of lewd or lascivious sexual battery on a child age 12 but less than 16.

He died while awaiting trial. Records do not show the cause of death. If convicted, Roberts would have faced up to 35 years in prison.

In comparison, Makell’s parents received relatively light sentences.

Michael Graves pleaded no contest to child abuse. He was sentenced in late August 2015 to a year and a day, with credit for six months in Volusia County jail. He was released in February 2016 after five months in prison, and returned to his DeBary home for three years of supervised probation.

A month after her husband, Cindy Graves pleaded no contest to procuring a minor for prostitution, deriving support from the proceeds of prostitution and child abuse. She was sentenced to five years in prison. She’s scheduled for release April 5, 2019.


Reliving the trauma

“Five years? Am I only worth five years?” Makell asked Ware when she heard the news of her parents’ short sentences. She was devastated.

But part of the challenge for prosecutors was Makell’s state of mind as a result of the trauma she’d experienced.

In sex crime cases, it’s common for prosecutors and defense attorneys to discuss a plea that does not require the victim to testify, Assistant State Attorney Shannon Peters said.

The deposition process alone is “very rigorous,” Peters told The News-Journal. A defense attorney’s role is to protect the accused, and though some handle victims with care, others take the opportunity to intimidate.

When Makell was scheduled to speak with prosecutors, she experienced mental and emotional upheaval and was not able to follow through.

“You’re confronted with forcing a girl to come into court whether she’s having seizures or throwing up,” Peters said.

A trial would have required Makell to relive her trauma yet again and be cross examined in a public courtroom.

“She didn’t want to have to face the perpetrators in court,” said Peters. (Though Makell has come forward in the media, prosecutors are prohibited from naming her.) “If the victim isn’t willing to come to court and (testify), we don’t have a case. If you don’t make a plea deal and they don’t come to court, you don’t get a second bite of that apple.”

Had Michael Graves gone to trial, he could have been sentenced to five years in prison. Cindy Graves could have faced 25 years, but five years was “what the defendant was willing to plead to without putting the victim through a deposition or any court proceedings,” Peters said.

Still, Makell said she felt “cheated” by the justice system.

“I think if my parents had been charged the proper way in the beginning and served what they deserved, I would probably be in a different place with everything,” she said.


‘The law let us down’

An investigation by the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office revealed Cindy Graves was “sex trafficking (Makell) for money,” an arrest report states.

Human trafficking, a first-degree felony, carries a maximum prison sentence of 30 years. But Cynthia Graves wasn’t charged with human trafficking. No one has ever been prosecuted for human trafficking in the 7th Judicial Circuit, comprised of Volusia, Flagler, St. Johns and Putnam counties.

Makell is seeking support among Florida’s legislators to change that. Aided by Don Mair, who helped draft Gabby’s Law after his daughter was hit by a car and killed at a school bus stop, Makell is advocating for a rewrite of Florida’s human trafficking statute.

The proposed bill emphasizes harsher penalties and removal of plea deals for those charged with the crime.

“The law let us down,” Holly Ware said, “so let’s change the law.”

State Rep. Tom Leek, R-Ormond Beach, said he is working with the House of Representatives’ criminal justice staff to draft an effective bill, but it will not be completed in time for the 2018 legislative session.

Leek, an attorney, said the punishment Makell’s parents received for “one of the most atrocious crimes I can think of being committed is offensive.”

But, he added, “We have to make sure to give law enforcement and the state attorney the discretion they need to put together the best case they can without unnecessary restrictions. It was easy to recognize the problem, but it’s hard to find a solution that works.”

Florida’s human trafficking law requires prosecutors to prove the victim was subjected to force, fraud or coercion. Proof of coercion is usually developed through victim testimony, Peters said.

Drugging a child for the purpose of sexual exploitation is a form of coercion, but there must be a direct connection between the two. In Makell’s case, Peters said, “Every time (her parents provided her with drugs), it wasn’t for the purpose of sexual acts.”

Makell’s father — though guilty of giving his underage daughter drugs — was never alleged to have sold her for sex.

“The charges we used didn’t have to prove coercion and covered the facts exactly,” Peters said. “I don’t think the problem is what we charged. The end result is what people are upset about.”

Leek said the solution may be to change the standard of proof from coercion to facilitation. While it may be difficult to prove the purpose of Makell’s mother’s actions was to sell her for sex, Leek said, “What her parents did by drugging her is they took away her ability to reject, her ability to reason.

“What I do know is parents who sell their kids into the sex trade should not be able to walk away with (a short sentence),” Leek said. “There’s got to be a better solution.”


A taste of justice

In June 2016, nine months after her mother went to prison, Makell suffered a flashback to a sexual assault by a man she could only identify as “Buzz.” Ware notified the FBI.

The next day, FBI agents drove Makell to her parents’ home and she directed them turn by turn to the door of John Szolosi of DeBary.

Szolosi, 70, pleaded no contest to lewd or lascivious sexual battery, but later admitted his guilt to the court. Szolosi told investigators he paid Cindy Graves a single Xanax for the sex act with Makell.

New charges were filed against Graves, too. But the incident had occurred during the date range already covered by her plea.

In the months leading up to Szolosi’s sentencing, Makell had returned to school. Outwardly, she seemed like any other University High School student. But the trauma she has suffered still lingers. One day earlier this year, she pulled into the University High School parking lot for a typical day of classes when memories simmering below the surface struck without warning.

She panicked and dialed Ware, whom she now calls “Mom.” Ware officially adopted Makell and Kaytee in 2015, and both girls have taken their adoptive mother’s last name.

Ware calmed her. “You’re in control. You’re not trapped. You can drive home.”

When she reached home that day, a wave of nausea hit Makell the moment she stepped through the front door. She vomited again and again until she blacked out. Ware put her to bed. When Makell awoke, she shared previously suppressed details from her hours-long encounter with Szolosi.

“That (memory) was actually so traumatizing,” Makell said, “I had to tell my mom what I remembered and what happened because I couldn’t physically write it down.”

Awaiting sentencing at his home earlier this year, Szolosi told The News-Journal he had “a lot of feelings” about what he did to Makell.

Leaning against his doorframe, an ankle monitor hidden under his jeans, he indicated a desire to express those feelings, but ultimately declined to divulge them without his attorney present. His attorney, Michael Nielsen, did not respond to multiple attempts to contact him. Szolosi was sentenced in September to 10 years in prison and declared a sex offender.

To Makell, Szolosi’s sentence felt like justice.

When Ware arrived home from Szolosi’s sentencing, Makell ran outside to greet her in the driveway.

“What are we gonna do now?” Ware asked as they wiped away tears.

Makell answered, “Live our lives.”


‘I want to be a kid’

“Pretty but stupid” is what Makell said her parents called her. They pulled her from public school soon after she started seventh grade.

A teacher came to her house at first, and she was expected to complete her courses online. She didn’t, and the teacher quit coming.

When Ware took custody of Makell and Kaytee, Makell should have been a high school freshman. Instead, Ware re-enrolled her in middle school. She made honor roll.

“She did a 180 in a week,” Ware said. “She wanted to be a good kid. She didn’t want to be what they made her.”

Makell will graduate high school in May, and is dual enrolled at Daytona State College. She had planned to pursue a nursing certification, but is now considering a career in law enforcement.

She still has counseling three times a week. Patrick Nave and Diena Cannavino, founders of Bikers Against Trafficking, give their services free to Makell at their state-licensed addiction treatment and counseling center, Ware said.

Survivors of sex trafficking have wounds and addictions they will deal with for the rest of their lives, Nave told The News-Journal.

“Something that happened 30 years ago can be triggered by a movie. Everything is still in the brain.”

Scent, he said, is the biggest trigger, and can catch a survivor off guard.

For Makell, each day is a minefield.

Last year, a grocery shopping trip took a dark turn when an elderly man passed Makell in the aisle. The “old man smell” plunged Makell into a disturbing memory. She crumbled to the floor in hysterics.

“In that moment, you don’t feel like you’re in the middle of a store. You feel like you’re back in that bad situation,” Makell explained. “And all I had was my mom to just stand there and hold me and tell me, ‘It’s OK, you’re safe.’”

The threat of a sneak attack from her subconscious lingers. Makell still lives in DeBary. Ware has moved them to a new neighborhood. But at any turn, Makell worries she could encounter her father or grandparents or previously unidentified rapists.

“For the longest time I was literally running out of stores and just running from anyone in my past and anything that reminded me,” Makell said. “It hasn’t really been until recently I’ve tried to stop running, but it is hard to go into Walmart.”

Walter and Esther Graves, Makell’s grandparents, live with Michael Graves. Esther said her son won’t talk about the case. She and her husband are “very upset that we can’t see (Makell and Kaytee),” she told The News-Journal. “We’ve tried, but (Ware) won’t let us.”

Michael Graves was prohibited by law from contacting Makell until she turned 18. Makell said her dad doesn’t have her number, but if he called she’d have some choice words for him.

Makell didn’t want to celebrate her 18th birthday. “I didn’t get to be a kid,” she told Ware. “I’m not an adult. I want to be a kid.”

In recent months, she has finally started sleeping in a bedroom rather than in the living room with Ware.

And another significant thing has changed: Since Szolosi’s sentencing — and the toll it took on her mental and physical well-being — she’s decided not to pursue prosecution of any perpetrators she remembers in the future.

“Even when there’s no more court hearings or interviews like this, we’re not going to be a completely normal family,” Makell said. “But we’re all just really ready to just be done with this.”



Wednesday, 29 June 2016

10 Men from Southern Alberta Charged in Child Sexual Exploitation Investigation

A former Alberta Party candidate, an air force pilot
and an accounts manager
Clara Ho, Calgary Herald

From left: William Norn, 68, of Calgary, an air force pilot, and Troy Millington, 45, of Calgary, a former Alberta Party candidate, are among 10 Alberta men charged in a child exploitation investigation.
From left: William Norn, 68, of Calgary, an air force pilot, and Troy Millington, 45, of Calgary, a former Alberta Party candidate, are among 10 Alberta men charged in a child exploitation investigation.

A former Alberta Party candidate, an air force pilot and an accounts manager are among five Calgarians charged in a lengthy child exploitation investigation.

In total, 10 men from southern Alberta were arrested and charged in Operation Ice Storm 3, an eight-month investigation by ALERT’s Internet Child Exploitation or ICE team, which is made up of officers from Calgary, Lethbridge, Medicine Hat and the RCMP.

ICE investigates offences involving child pornography, computer-related child sexual abuse, child luring over the Internet, voyeurism involving underage victims and child sex trade/tourism.

Congratulations you guys. God bless you!

This particular operation, currently in its third iteration, focused on child sexual-abuse images and videos being traded on peer-to-peer file sharing networks and targeted high-volume traders, said Det. Justin Brookes, one of the primary investigators.

He noted these 10 individuals represent only “a fraction” of the offenders operating in this province.

“Every day, thousands of child sexual-abuse images and videos are being traded, viewed, downloaded all across the province,” Brookes told reporters Wednesday. “Simply put, we cannot arrest everyone at once. Instead, Ice Storm 3 targeted the suspects with the largest collections and some of the most graphic content.”

Det. Justin Brookes (L) speaks to media as Sheldon Kennedy (R) listens during a press conference in Calgary, Alta at Police headquarters on Wednesday June 29, 2016. Operation ICE Storm 3 has led to the arrest of 10 child sexual exploitation suspects. ALERT's Internet Child Exploitation team made the arrests in Calgary, Medicine Hat, and Lethbridge.
Det. Justin Brookes (L) speaks to media as Sheldon Kennedy (R) listens during a press conference in Calgary, Alta at Police headquarters on Wednesday June 29, 2016. Operation ICE Storm 3 has led to the arrest of 10 child sexual exploitation suspects. ALERT's Internet Child Exploitation team made the arrests in Calgary, Medicine Hat, and Lethbridge. JIM WELLS / POSTMEDIA

Over the past eight months, investigators executed 30 search warrants across southern Alberta and seized 285 computers, mobile devices and storage drives.

So far, only about half of the devices have undergone forensic analysis, but investigators have already discovered more than 40 terabytes of data containing more than 50,000 individual videos and images depicting child pornography and child sexual exploitation. 

“Some of the victims in the images and the videos are estimated to be as young as six months and depict extreme sexual violence,” Brookes said.

“Some of the victims in the images and the videos are estimated to be as young as six months and depict extreme sexual violence”

At this point, none of the victims identified in the images are believed to be from Alberta, “but we would be naive to believe it’s not taking place in our own backyards,” he added.

Sheldon Kennedy, director of the Sheldon Kennedy Child Advocacy Centre and former NHL star-turned child-rights advocate, said his centre sees about 125 cases a month involving mainly children between the ages of four and seven.

Many of them either present or are at risk of depression, addiction, self-harm or sexualized behaviour. In addition, the centre’s two full-time mental-health clinicians are at capacity dealing with children who have suicidal thoughts.

depression, addiction, self-harm, 
sexualized behaviour, suicidal thoughts

Some of the consequences of child sex abuse

Kennedy said a big problem is that there are still many people who don’t make the connection between images of child pornography and sexual abuse, and that more education and understanding is needed.

“It’s not just an image . . . We see the people, we see the kids that have been hurt,” he said.

The following people were arrested and face charges of possession of child pornography, accessing child pornography and making child pornography available: 

Troy Millington, 45, of Calgary, a former Alberta Party candidate
William Norn, 68, of Calgary, an air force pilot
Robert Rogers, 42, of Lethbridge
Robert Thompson, 33, of Calgary
John Tulloch, 25, of Lethbridge
Stefan Mogck, 35, of Medicine Hat
Michael Henderson, 68, of Medicine Hat
Gabriel Pereira, 42, of Calgary, an accounts manager
Victor Rahal, 52, of Medicine Hat
Oscar Asensio, 41, of Calgary

Brookes said none of the accused men are considered to be in positions of public trust or authority.

In the first Operation Ice Storm launched in April 2014, 10 people were arrested. The second operation last year netted eight arrests.

Advancements in technology and the sheer volume of data police must sift through present challenges for investigators. But Brookes said the ICE team will keep launching Operation Ice Storm investigations as long as there is a need.

He stressed the importance, collectively as a society, to protect our children and to let kids know it’s OK to talk about abuse and speak up. He also urged anyone with information on child online sexual exploitation to report it.

“Your information could save a child.”

Friday, 29 April 2016

Pornography Poses a Serious Threat to Couple Intimacy & Relationship Harmony





An Open Letter on Porn
By: Drs. John & Julie Gottman
The Gottman Institute

Image result for intimacyPornography in relationships has been an issue for a long time. Even today, professional recommendations on how to manage the use of pornography still vary widely. We attended one workshop in a couples therapy conference that recommended to merely accept porn use, especially by men, as natural and harmless. While this may be an extreme view, many clinicians have suggested that if a couple uses pornography as a stimulus for intimacy, or if they both agree to read or view pornographic materials together, then porn use is fine. In fact, many professionals have thought it might increase relationship connection and intimacy. In the Bringing Baby Home new parents workshop, we initially took this view since our research had demonstrated that, after a baby arrives, relationship intimacy decreases and measures were needed to strengthen intimate sexual connection.

Recently, however, research on the effects of pornography use, especially one person frequently viewing pornographic images online, shows that pornography can hurt a couple’s relationship. The effect may be true, in part, because pornography can be a “supernormal stimulus” (see Supernormal Stimuli by Deirdre Barrett). Nikko Tinbergen, a Nobel Prize winning ethologist, described a supernormal stimulus as a stimulus that evokes a much larger response than one that has evolutionary significance. One effect of a supernormal stimulus is that interest wanes in normal stimuli. Tinbergen studied male stickleback fish who would naturally attack a rival male that entered their territory during mating season. He created an oval object with a very red belly, more intensely red than the natural fish. The fish fiercely attacked the mock up and subsequently lost interest in attacking its real male rival. Now the supernormal stimulus evoked a reaction, but not the normal stimulus.

Modern men who grew up watching porn
 as children and teenagers have 
started a movement against it

Pornography may be just such a supernormal stimulus. With pornography use, much more of a normal stimulus may eventually be needed to achieve the response a supernormal stimulus evokes. In contrast, ordinary levels of the stimulus are no longer interesting. This may be how normal sex becomes much less interesting for porn users. The data supports this conclusion. In fact, use of pornography by one partner leads the couple to have far less sex and ultimately reduces relationship satisfaction.

There are many other factors about porn use that can threaten a relationship’s intimacy. 

First, intimacy for couples is a source of connection and communication between two people.  But when one person becomes accustomed to masturbating to porn, they are actually turning away from intimate interaction. 

Second, when watching pornography the user is in total control of the sexual experience, in contrast to normal sex in which people are sharing control with the partner. Thus a porn user may form the unrealistic expectation that sex will be under only one person’s control. 

Third, the porn user may expect that their partner will always be immediately ready for intercourse (see Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski). This is unrealistic as well. Research has revealed that genital engorgement leads to a desire for sex only 10% of the time in women and 59% of the time in men. 

Fourth, some porn users rationalize that pornography is ok if it does not involve partnered sexual acts and instead relies only on masturbation. While this may accomplish orgasm the relationship goal of intimate connection is still confounded and ultimately lost.

Worse still, many porn sites include violence toward women, the antithesis of intimate connection. Porn use can become an actual addiction with the same brain mechanism activated in other behavioral addictions, like gambling (see Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson).

Pornography can also lead to a decrease in relationship trust and a higher likelihood of affairs outside the relationship. Many porn sites now offer an escalation of sexual activity beyond simply viewing porn that includes actually having sex with other individuals. Finally, the support of porn use is reinforcing an industry that abuses the actors employed to create the pornography (see The Empire of Illusion by Chris Hedges).

We applaud major media outlets like Time Magazine that have joined the anti-pornography movement. Their April cover story titled Porn and the Threat to Virility dives into how modern men who grew up watching porn as children and teenagers have started a movement against it, hoping to shed light on the sexual material’s power to harm Americans.

In summary, we are led to unconditionally conclude that for many reasons, pornography poses a serious threat to couple intimacy and relationship harmony. This moment calls for public discussion, and we want our readers around the world to understand what is at stake.

World-renowned researchers and clinical psychologists, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have conducted 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. They have published over 200 academic journal articles and written 46 books that have sold over a million copies in more than a dozen languages.

Thank you Drs. Gottman and Gottman, God bless you.

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Utah Declares Porn a Public Health Hazard

From BBC US & Canada
High Angle View of Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Salt Lake City, Utah. Picture taken January 27, 2012.
High Angle View of Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Salt Lake City, Utah. Picture taken January 27, 2012. Reuters

Close to 63% of Utah's population is Mormon

The US state of Utah has become the first to declare pornography a public health risk in a move its governor says is to "protect our families and our young people".

The bill does not ban pornography in the mainly Mormon state.

However, it calls for greater "efforts to prevent pornography exposure and addiction".

One group representing the adult entertainment industry attacked what it called "an old-fashioned morals bill".

Pornography, the bill says, "perpetuates a sexually toxic environment" and "is contributing to the hypersexualisation of teens, and even prepubescent children, in our society".

Access to pornography by pre-pubescent boys is, in my opinion, one of the driving forces in today's 'culture of rape' that permeates our schools and universities.

Further steps must be taken to change "education, prevention, research, and policy change at the community and societal level" against what it calls an epidemic, but it does not suggest how changes should be implemented.

The bill was signed by Republican Governor Gary Herbert, who said the volume of pornography in society was "staggering".

One 2009 study by Harvard Business School said that Utah was the state with the highest percentage of online porn subscribers in the US.

Some studies have, however, indicated that porn may not be addictive. 

Gee, I wonder who funded those studies?

'Avoid stigmatism'

The bill was supported by the anti-porn campaign group Fight the New Drug. Reports have pointed out the group's founders are all members of the conservative Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or the Mormon Church.

Close to 63% of the state's residents are Mormon, but Fight the New Drug's leaders have denied working on behalf of the Mormon Church.

The Free Speech Coalition, a porn industry association, called for more dialogue.

"We should live in a society where sexuality is spoken about openly, and discussed in nuanced and educated ways, and not stigmatised," said Mike Stabile, a spokesman for the group.

That sounds reasonable! But that's not pornography.

"We all should work together to prevent non-adults from accessing adult material."

Indeed we should, but with today's technology, that is probably impossible without the complete elimination of pornography, and the odds of that happening are somewhere between Zero and None. As the world plunges headlong into the cesspool of immorality, it's unlikely that the attitude of Utah's state government will catch-on in other states.