Warning over common childhood games
amid hidden Aussie crisis
that's 'too uncomfortable to talk about'
Grooming can look like everyday acts of kindness and familiarity.
But even something as seemingly innocent as this can be a
vehicle for boundary-testing.
In Australia, a staggering 79 per cent of child sexual abuse (CSA) victims know their abuser, and an estimated one in four Australians have experienced abuse themselves. It’s a confronting reality — one that affects millions across the country — and yet still too often exists in silence.
Experts say breaking that silence is critical to removing the shame and stigma that continues to prevent so many survivors from coming forward.
Shelley is both a mother and a survivor of child sexual abuse. She understands firsthand the weight of carrying the burden and how difficult it can be to speak out. In an interview with Yahoo News Australia, she stressed that addressing the abuse means going right to the root of the problem.
"I’ve learned that prevention isn’t just about education or the occasional conversation. It’s about creating a way of life where children know they are safe, heard, and believed — always," she said.
"We can’t control what others do, but we can control how we show up for our children. That means raising them in an environment where trust is built every day, where body autonomy is respected from the start, and where no topic is too uncomfortable to speak about."
What are some of the subtle signs of child grooming?
Shelley said that also includes the hard work parents and caregivers must do on themselves —acknowledging personal wounds, challenging harmful beliefs, and letting go of the idea that "it won’t happen to us." In many cases, she pointed out, abuse doesn’t come from strangers — it happens within families, social circles and communities. In some cases, the harm even comes from other children who have been victims themselves.
Leading child protection organisation Bravehearts is calling for greater national awareness around this issue with the launch of its new campaign, "Grooming Hides Behind Harmless". The campaign shines a light on the often-subtle behaviours predators use to groom children and the adults around them, gradually building trust to lower suspicion and gain access.
Can games even be a clue?
Bravehearts CEO Alison Geale explained that grooming can look like everyday acts of kindness and familiarity. But even something as seemingly innocent as children’s games can be a vehicle for boundary-testing. She said games like hide and seek, tag, doctors and nurses, mums and dads or play fighting can, in some instances, be used as a cover to push physical boundaries under the guise of play.
While those games are a normal part of childhood, she emphasised the importance of being alert to patterns, like an adult or older child frequently initiating one-on-one play in private settings, encouraging secrets, or dismissing a child’s discomfort. When a child is repeatedly isolated from others under the pretext of fun or special attention, it could be a red flag.
"It’s important to understand that grooming takes time and involves the grooming of not only the child but also those adults around the child," Alison said. "Gaining the trust of parents or even organisations is a critical component of gaining access to the child.
"The grooming process can take time, sometimes years, as the offender builds trust. When treating a single behaviour in isolation, protective adults can view that as harmless, joining the dots can be tricky."
The campaign urges all adults — parents, carers, teachers, coaches, neighbours — to recognise that awareness is a vital tool in prevention. By learning to spot manipulative behaviour early, people are better equipped to protect their kids.
"Learn as much as you can about the signs," Alison said. "Child sex offenders are cunning and manipulative, often gaslighting parents, caregivers and other adults, leading them to believe that any suspicions they have are unfounded."
Australia has a lot of work to do
Despite the 2017 Royal Commission recommendations, significant action is still lacking, particularly around unified national measures, Alison warned. She said there's still an ongoing need for stronger collaboration between state and federal governments on key issues like reporting, education, sentencing, and implementing a national Working with Children Check. While the National Strategy is making progress, crucial areas of prevention and treatment still require urgent attention.
"A quarter of Australians have experienced child sexual abuse, and this is a conservative statistic," she said. "Parents and caregivers need to recognise this alarming fact, become knowledgeable about the facts and feel confident to be vigilant about the adults their children spend unsupervised time with."
If you believe a child is at immediate risk of harm, call triple zero without delay and report to police. For guidance or support, you can contact Bravehearts’ toll-free National Information and Support Line on 1800 272 831 (available Monday to Friday, 8:30am – 4:30pm AEST).
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