One of the most inconceivably difficult stories of the year

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This is a difficult and disturbing read, I don't recommend it for sensitive readers:

Parents of woman found ‘melted’ to couch re-indicted on murder charges

By Yaron Steinbuch

June 27, 2023 9:53am  Updated

A Louisiana couple whose dead daughter’s body was found “melted” into the family couch — where she’d been sitting for up to 12 years — have been re-indicted on murder counts after a judge tossed the charges over technical matters.

Sheila and Clay Fletcher were initially arrested in January 2022 after their 36-year-old daughter, Lacey Ellen Fletcher, was discovered dead on the home’s ratty couch covered in urine and feces and weighing less than 100 pounds.

The couple was later indicted on charges of second-degree murder in the shocking case of “acute medical neglect,” but District Judge Kathryn “Betsy” Jones last month tossed the raps after the suspects’ lawyers objected to what they called defective language in the charging affidavits, the Advocate reported.

Sheila and Clay Fletcher, the parents of a 36-year-old woman found “fused” to a couch in their Louisiana home last year, have been re-indicted on murder charges after a judge dismissed the counts over a technicality.

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The Fletchers, who have been out on bail, were rearrested June 19 and again indicted by a grand jury on murder charges, District Attorney Sam D’Aquilla told the news outlet.

“We will ensure there is justice for Lacey and the public knows that caregivers will be charged for neglecting or abusing a person in their care,” the prosecutor said in a statement.

The suspects’ lead lawyer, Steven Moore, earlier told the judge that the DA’s office presented indictment papers that contained six differences from the ones filed in the official record, according to the Advocate.

The body of Lacey Fletcher was found “fused” to this feces- and urine-soaked couch.

East Feliciana Parish Coroner's

D’Aquilla also told WAFB that the defense team raised two other reasons to quash the indictment — no specific intent and no signing by the foreperson.

The judge reportedly denied those two. 

The DA is believed to have tweaked the indictments by removing language from state law about cruelty to the infirm, which is not an inclusive charge to second-degree murder.

When Lacey was found in her family’s Slaughter home, she was stuck inside a waste-filled crater in the couch — with the local medical examiner describing her as having “melted” into the piece of furniture.

She was covered in maggots and sores, had ulcers on her underside and fecal matter on her face, chest and abdomen, officials said.

Lacey Ellen Fletcher was discovered dead on the home’s couch covered in urine and feces and weighing less than 100 pounds.

Handout

Her parents have maintained their innocence, claiming Lacey was “of sound mind” and refused to leave the living room, where they said they brought her meals and set up a potty.

Authorities said the woman was diagnosed with social anxiety and had a history of severe Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism spectrum disorder, which leaves people with maladjusted social skills.

Lacey may have sat in her own filth for about 12 years, the coroner said.

She weighed a skeletal 96 pounds and also tested positive for COVID-19 after she was found.

She also reportedly suffered from locked-in syndrome, a rare neurological disorder characterized by complete paralysis of voluntary muscles, except for the eyes.

Her parents, who are out on bond, are expected to be tried later this year.

Surely, there was some way to get this girl help! What a disturbing story!

Child Sexual Abuse Study - Very Revealing

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OSU study calls for better screening of sexual abuse in children

The study of more than 6,500 people finds that the longer the abuse, the worse the impact

BY: GARRETT ANDREWS - 

AUGUST 25, 2022 5:45 AM

 

An Oregon State University study found that the longer a child suffered from sexual abuse, the bigger an impact it had on them as an adult. (Getty Images)

A recent study by researchers at Oregon State University found that chronic childhood sexual abuse is more likely to lead to negative outcomes in adults than single instances of trauma.

The findings highlight the importance of screening for chronic trauma, rather than relying on one-time checklist-style assessments, which, for instance, ask how severe was the abuse or who was the abuser to the victim.

Popular assessment tools like the Adverse Childhood Experiences, which consists of a series of questions, could be greatly improved with a few basic follow-up questions about the duration of abuse, according to the study’s lead author, Ashley Schuyler.

“(Adverse Childhood Experiences) is useful, but maybe not the most helpful in identifying the individuals who need the most help.” Schuyler told the Capital Chronicle.

Consequences of child sex abuse

Along with physical and mental health challenges, adults who experienced chronic abuse as children suffer from higher rates of drug abuse, poverty and incarceration. Longer durations of childhood trauma are also linked to higher rates of emotional and physical health problems, sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction, relationship and marital problems, fair or poor overall health, lower educational attainment, income below the poverty level and a history of incarceration.

This is a key issue in Oregon, which surveys have consistently shown ranks high nationwide in the number of children and adults struggling with mental health issues and low in providing access to treatment. The rate of Oregonians with mental illness – 23.8% – was around 4% higher than the national average of 19.9%, according to a 2021 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation. And the share of Oregonians who reported experiencing anxiety or depression and did not receive counseling or therapy was around 8% higher than the national average, or 34.5% compared to 26.9%.

The OSU study did not break down by state the number of adults who suffered childhood trauma, but nationwide the number is estimated to be around 16 million. Of those, around 10 million adults suffered for “intermediate” or “extreme” durations.

In the study, Schuyler and co-author Joseph Catania examined data from the 1995-1996 National Sexual Health Survey conducted by the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies at the University of California-San Francisco. It’s one of few surveys large enough to be considered representative of the U.S. population,  Schuyler said.

A few problems here. These data are 26-27 years old, so they were collected before the great drug epidemic across North America, and the legalization of marijuana in some states. Both of these are known to affect mental illnesses like schizophrenia and paranoia. 

Also, there are no studies indicating the number of adults who refuse to acknowledge having been sexually abused as a child until they are in their 30's, 40's or 50's. That number is undoubtedly significant as these people keep showing up on my blog all the time. So, the percentage of those reporting having been abused as a child comes well short of reality.

Of the 6,537 survey respondents, 8.1% reported experiencing chronic sexual trauma prior to turning 18. Fourteen percent of women surveyed reported experiencing chronic childhood sexual abuse, as did 20 to 25% of gay and bisexual men. Those rates have been confirmed in subsequent studies, Schuyler said.

The longer the abuse, the worse the trauma

The OSU paper found that the longer childhood trauma took place, the greater the likelihood of adult survivors seeking help, whether in a health care setting, or informally, by confiding to friends and family, for example. Only 27% of respondents who suffered a single instance of trauma reported seeking help, compared to 42% of people with “intermediate-duration” trauma, i.e., one to three years, and 59% of people with extreme-duration trauma of at least four years.

Fear is a major contributor to the trauma of child sexual abuse. The longer the abuse continues, the more fear is associated with it, and the greater the strain on mental health.

Public health officials need to work on de-stigmatizing sex-related trauma, Schuyler said. ACEs and other checklist-style screening tools are useful as a jumping-off point, but there needs to be more specialized follow-up care, she said.

“On the health care side, one step at reducing that stigma is better preparing and equipping providers to talk about these issues with patients, to ask the right questions and not wait for the patient to bring it up,” she said. “It can help normalize the idea that these are issues we should talk about; that we have resources available to support you.”

Every sexually abused child/adult should be able to access mental health care.

This 1 Disturbing Sign Often Means Someone Was a Victim of Child Abuse

Health and Fitness Cheat Sheet
Chelena Goldman 

When on the look-out for signs of child abuse, it’s common to look at the individuals when they are, well, children. But what about looking for signs of past abuse in adults? It isn’t unheard of for abuse to go unrecorded, only for symptoms and behaviors to manifest in adulthood.

There is one sign, however, that should set off an alarm that someone was a victim of child abuse.

But first, what constitutes as abuse

Child abuse can take on many forms. | Tatyana Tomsickova/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Child abuse takes on many forms, according to the American Society for the Positive Care of Children. There is obvious physical or sexual abuse, and also neglect. The ASPCC categorizes these different kinds of abuse and neglect as “physical abuse, emotional maltreatment, neglect, sexual abuse and witnessing family violence.”

Number of children reported abuse

Reporting child abuse is the first step toward preventing it. | Margotpics/iStock/Getty Images Plus

The stats surrounding abuse are staggering, and upsetting. According to the National Children’s Alliance, there was an estimated 683,000 instances of childhood mistreatment and neglect in the U.S. in 2015 alone. It is also reported that “neglect” is the most common form of abuse. According to the same pool of data, a parent is the abuser in 4 out of 5 instances.

Abuse getting reported in adulthood

Therapy can help victims of child abuse move forward with their lives. | Lisafx/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Surprisingly, most instances of child abuse aren’t investigated when the individuals are children. The National Children’s Alliance reports that 77% of individuals investigated for abuse in 2015 were over the age of 18. Which makes looking for signs of abuse even more interesting …

The one sign that someone was a victim

Victims of child abuse often get into abusive relationships. 

| Katarzyna Bialasiewicz/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Child abuse can mutate into a form of PTSD — and the signs of it can manifest into the victim’s adulthood. Many factors play into adults developing PTSD following childhood abuse. Behavior showing PTSD include aggressive behavior, night terrors, and loss of interest in everyday activities, just to name a few.

One giveaway is that a victim might get into abusive relationships as an adult, and be more likely to engage in toxic relationships that reflect their abusive childhood.

How it manifests into adulthood

Past childhood trauma can affect adults in serious ways. | Kiatipol/iStock/Getty Images Plus

The National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse explains that many victims disassociate themselves to cope with abuse at a young age. Therefore, many of the PTSD symptoms associated with child abuse might not manifest until the victim is older.

How difficult is it to see this sign of abuse?

Mental health experts are trained to understand past trauma. 

| Monkeybusinessimages/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Help is certainly available for adult survivors. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to pinpoint an instance of PTSD that is related to childhood mistreatment. The PTSD symptoms, NAASCA explains, mimic symptoms of other chronic conditions. Depression, anxiety, and substance abuse can have the exact same general symptoms.

Where to get help

Support is available for those who need it. | Bowdenimages/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Although this heinous act impacts many people, there is aid available for adult victims of childhood mistreatment and neglect. Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse is one such hub, which is a support system run by adult survivors.

Many of these outlets also give links to connect survivors with therapists and other forms of professional help.

Child Sex Abuse Victims Talk About How it Affected Their Relationships

Excellent article in honour of Sexual Abuse and

Sexual Violence Awareness Week

Tanveer Mann for Metro.co.uk

If you are a victim of sexual abuse, remember you are not alone (File Picture: Shutterstock)

If you’re a victim of sexual abuse, a common reaction is

to deny it ever happened.

Admitting it to yourself is hard let alone having the courage

to tell somebody else.

Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness Week: What you need to know

But by not speaking about it, it can have drastic effects on your mental health so it is always advisable to seek support from someone you trust.

Fortunately, there is a lot of help and support available for victims of sexual abuse, such as Victim Support,The Survivors Trust or Survivors UK as well as the Rape Crisis national helpline.

To mark Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness week, we spoke to two extremely brave victims of child sex abuse who reveal just how much the abuse affected them.

Amy, 23, 

Do not fear seeking help if you are being or have been abused

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Amy* was sexually abused by her step-father as a child up until the age of 15 years old.

Her first vivid memory of being abused was when she was 11 years old.

She told Metro.co.uk: ‘One morning I was doing my usual routine, which was to get up, say goodbye to my mum as she headed off to work then have a shower.

‘As I was getting changed my step-father walked in and started sexually abusing me by playing with my chest and genitals area, he then penetrated me.

‘It felt like something was wrong but he told me and assured me it was completely natural.’

Despite knowing her step-father for seven years previously, the abuse continued, becoming more and more regular and more violent.

She said: ‘He would abuse me every weekend when I went to visit him and my mum after school on a Friday until Sunday. And every school holiday including the 6 weeks summer holidays.’

What is sexual assault?

A sexual assault is any sexual act that a person did not consent to,

or is forced into against their will.

It is a form of sexual violence and includes rape.

It also includes groping, forced kissing, child sexual abuse

or the torture of a person in a sexual manner.

Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness week: The state of the help for survivors

This would often involve him walking into her room and touching her without her consent.

‘He made me stand up, bent me over and rubbed his genitals on me until he penetrated. He also got me to rub his genitals to help him penetrate me as it wasn’t easy for him to do so.

‘I was told by my step father that this was natural to do as a teenager, but he said I wasn’t to tell anyone.’

But throughout it all, she didn’t seek help from anyone out of fear of what her step-father would do.

‘I remember on a couple occasions I said no to him and he hated it when I did. I told him when I was 13 that I would tell my mum or someone and he got very angry and he scared me.

‘He told me to keep it hidden and said that if I told anyone he would tell them that I was lying. He did that so that I’d never tell anyone.’

It was only when Amy turned 15 did she get the courage to finally speak out and tell someone about the abuse.

She told us: ‘At the age of 15 I finally decided I was going to tell someone. I visited a very close friend and told her what had been happening. She told me I needed to tell the police, so together we made the call.’

Where you can seek help

If you are a survivor of sexual abuse or sexual violence, here is where you can seek help or support:

Your doctor

Rape Crisis UK – 0808 802 9999

The Survivors Trust – 0808 801 0818

Survivors UK (for male survivors of rape) – 02035983898

National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247

A hospital accident and emergency (A&E) department

A genitourinary medicine (GUM) or sexual health clinic

A contraceptive clinic

A young people’s service

The police, or dial 101

In an emergency, dial 999

(File Picture: Shutterstock)

Eventually, Amy approached Victim’s Support and decided to take him to court where he was convicted.

Amy explained: ‘The experience of taking my step-father to court wasn’t easy at all. It was terrifying but with the help and support from my police officer, witness support officer at the court and my Victim Support case worker they helped me prepare for court.

‘They showed me around the court and told me who would be there and where they would be standing. I did find court scary, hard and emotional but I knew I was doing the right thing to make sure he got punished for what he did and to prevent him doing it to others.’

After the court case was over, Amy finally felt able to get some closure about what happened to her.

‘It will always remain in my mind what he did to me, but I haven’t let it ruin my life. I feel a lot safer now that he has been convicted and that I have prevented it from happening to others.’

Yet she still suffered significant effects from the abuse and said it was hard getting close to the opposite sex.

She said: ‘After the abuse, I felt like I couldn’t trust any boy and wouldn’t let anyone get close to me. I felt like I wouldn’t ever have a boyfriend and it took me 10 years to trust men again.

‘I eventually got a boyfriend after seeking help from the charity Victim Support and my college counsellor to talk about what happened and how I could not let what my stepfather did to me ruin my life.’

‘But it has definitely made me very wary around boys. The abuse has changed the person I am today.  I used to be someone who was confident and near enough did what any normal teenage girl would do, but I now feel limited and have very low self confidence.

*Victim’s name has been changed to protect her identity.

Brian, 30

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Brian* was sexually abused by his Cub and Scout masters between the age of 4 and 15 years old.

The abuse by his Cub master, Richard Gilbert, took place between 4 and 11 and by his Scout master. Edward O’Donoghue, from 13 to 15 years old

Gilbert was never convicted of abusing Brian as he committed suicide before Brian could disclose his abuse to the police.

O’Donoghue, who was also a paediatric counsellor at Great Ormond Street Hospital, was the first person Brian trusted to share his story.

But O’Donoghue abused his position of trust and started molesting Brian.

Fortunately, he was convicted after pleading guilty to four specimen counts of indecent assault and was sentenced to two years in jail in March 2007. He was also placed on the sex offender’s register for 10 years and was banned from working with children for life.

Male survivors of sexual assault share their stories in powerful pictures

(File Picture: Shutterstock)

Here’s Brian’s story in his own words

The abuse began after Richard struck up a friendship with my mum and dad. He started coming round to the house often and would take my mum out dancing.

As far as my brother and I could remember, Richard was always there – he never had any children or wasn’t with any women or men during the time I knew him.

He would stay at ours and that’s where the abuse would take place. My first recollection was when he came up to my bedroom and slid his hands underneath the sheets.

It would happen regularly. He’d pretend he was ‘going upstairs to tuck Brian into bed’ when really other things were happening.

If I was in the shower, he would stand outside, look through the keyhole and masturbate or if we were in my bedroom, he would masturbate in front of me. I was five years old when this first happened.

When I turned nine, I started pleading for him to stop abusing me because I knew it wasn’t right.

I started pleading for him to stop abusing me because I knew it wasn’t right.

I worked out quite quickly that it was wrong. But it was weird because he would buy me presents, so I was sort of groomed into thinking he was a nice person.

He just kept saying to me ‘it’s our secret’.

I became very angry as I grew up, especially with my parents because I wanted to quit Cubs, which I was in from eight to 11 years old, but my mum would always make me go and help out thee.

I wanted to give up but I felt like it was my responsibility to keep on doing what he wanted me to do. I was petrified that if I ever spoke about, it would tear my family apart.

The Statistics

Three quarters of people who approach Rape Crisis for help were assaulted over 12 months earlier and 42% were adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Around 58,000 individuals receive an ongoing Rape Crisis service, an increase of 16% since 2014-15.

95% of all service users were female

The largest group that contact Rape Crisis Centres continues to be those who prefer to self-refer (44%)

Where age is known, 1,700 were aged 15 or under, an increase of 13% on last year; those aged under 25 represented 33% of service users, an increase of 8%

Where ethnicity is known, 27% of Rape Crisis services users were Black or Minority Ethnic, an increase from 23% in 2014-15

23% of all service users identified as Disabled.

On some levels, I think I knew my parents knew what was happening but they didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Then the abuse randomly stopped when I was 11. I don’t know why because he continued to come to my house.

By this point I had joined Scouts and became friends with my Scout master Edward O’Donoghue.

I confided in him because I really thought he had my best interests at heart. He was the first I told about Richard.

But then the abuse started again. Edward plied me with alcohol and would then masturbate in front of me and perform oral sex on me.

He would me take me on weekends away under the pretence of looking for camp sites for the Scouts and he would then touch me in the tent.

The abuse only stopped when I moved away.

Eventually I mustered up the courage to tell my parents and got Edward arrested. To this day, I still think my mum knew about it.

But it felt good to be finally free. I had carried all this crap with me for a long time,so the moment I could share it, it was like verbal diarrhoea. I felt like no one owned me anymore.

After I told my parents, I didn’t realise how much the abuse had actually affected me.

I spiralled out of control, became reliant on alcohol and was really possessive and controlling towards girlfriends.

The strangest thing was though, out of all the abuse it was the intimacy of kissing that was the most painful part. Kissing was destroyed for me for a very long time because every time I would do it, it reminded me of Richard sticking his tongue down my throat.

I also felt incredibly guilty for walking around with this secret for so long. Because if I had told someone about Richard earlier, it may have stopped other children being abused by him.

It is really important to tell someone otherwise if you keep it inside, it will eat at you like cancer affecting your body.

Following Edward’s conviction, I received £80,000 in compensation from The Scouts Association, which gave me the chance to start my life again but the scars will always remain.

I’m still in therapy which has helped but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop it.

*Victim’s name has been changed to protect his identity.

Seeking help

Lucy Hastings, director at independent charity Victim Support, told Metro.co.uk:

‘Making the brave decision to speak out about sexual abuse and violence shows tremendous courage, and can encourage others to come forward and seek help too. We know from supporting victims of sexual abuse and violence that this harrowing crime can have a long-lasting impact on people’s lives. It’s crucial that victims are aware of the support available to them.

‘Victim Support is an independent charity. We can offer free and confidential practical help and emotional support to anyone affected by crime, no matter how long ago it took place or if it’s been reported. You can call our support line on 08 08 16 89 111 or visit victimsupport.org.uk to find out how we can help.’

‘An NSPCC spokesperson said: ‘Child sexual abuse is a deeply traumatic experience that if untreated can lead to serious mental health problems, robbing victims of their childhood and having long-lasting effects into adulthood. Our programme Letting the Future In is designed to help victims express feelings that they can’t put into words through messy play, writing, storytelling and art.

‘We also work to try and prevent sexual abuse with our Speak Out Stay Safe programme, where a team of volunteers visit schools to teach children about abuse; how to recognise the signs, how to protect themselves and where to get help, including our Childline service.’

Nepal One Year After the Earthquake: Child Labour, Child Brides, Homeless Kids

Life still a challenge for the children

who survived Nepal's 2015 earthquake

By Saša Petricic, CBC News 

One year after Nepal’s devastating earthquake, children and young people remain among the most vulnerable. A quarter of those killed – some 2,000 - were children under 10 years old. And for those who survived, life is still a challenge. Hundreds of thousands of them are homeless.

A Year in Tents

Many of these kids have spent months in tent cities, under sheets of corrugated metal, or sleeping out in the open.



For 19-year-old Bagwar Gdadji and her daughter, home is a 'temporary' tent in a dusty lot in Kathmandu. Her baby was born just hours before the April 25, 2015 earthquake destroyed their house.

She and her husband can't afford to re-build, or even rent anywhere else, so they've been here for a year now.



Most of those who live in this camp are young people and children.



Medical Needs

In a nearby tent, Mondu Sunam struggles to take care of her disabled grandson, seven-year-old Prince. He needs medical attention and physiotherapy, neither of which are available in the camp.



Water

Water is available in the camp, since it is in the middle of the capital, Kathmandu.

But for many children in the countryside, getting water means a two or three hour walk to the nearest working well. Many village wells have dried up or were contaminated after the earthquake.

The search for safe drinking water remains a constant.



Hundreds of children lost one or both parents in the earthquake, and many kids still live on the streets. Or roam the country however they can.



Girls are especially vulnerable in Nepal.

Child Brides

Even before the earthquake, child marriage was a big problem here. Since last April, it has become more common as some parents seek a husband to support the daughters they can't.



Child Sex Trafficking

In the hard-hit district of Sindhupalchowk, aid group Plan International runs a program for girls and young women, to warn them of the dangers of sexual abuse, forced marriages and human trafficking.



In the past year, the risk of human trafficking has been much higher as children are taken from their home villages to work in virtual slavery in big cities or abroad.

According to UNICEF, more than a thousand children have been stopped at police checkpoints around Nepal, heading for an uncertain future, under the control of a stranger.



Child Rape

Sexual assault is also a rising threat in the upheaval after the quake. A 17-year-old woman who wants to be called 'Grisma' was raped shortly after the  earthquake by an older man from a nearby village.



She fidgets nervously as she tells her story. Grisma is now pregnant and under social pressure to marry her rapist.



Child labour in the brickworks

Other dangers for Nepal's youth are in the country's brickworks.

Officially, child labour is illegal here, but I find many children digging, moulding bricks and stacking them, especially now that demand for building materials is expected to grow.



Viswas is 15 years old. He says he works 11 hours a day, six days a week shovelling mud on the outskirts of Kathmandu for about 40 cents an hour. The worker next to him is 13 years old.



Workers nearby look much younger, though no one will confirm their exact age. The pressure is great on families who have lost everything in the earthquake to make money however possible.



Even by putting their youngest to work.



At 14, Grakar Khadri spends his days loading and unloading bricks.



Others work the streets of Kathmandu, selling cotton candy amid the rubble.

Children rebuild their lives, as Nepal tries to rebuild itself.

Nepal needs a lot of prayer and a lot of help.

All photos by Saša Petricic.

"Why Can't You Just Get Over It?"

What Every Survivor of Sexual Trauma Needs to Know

Jennifer Rollin 
Mental Health Therapist, Social Worker, Body Image Activist and Wellness Enthusiast
Huff Post

"I feel like what happened was my fault. Like I did something to deserve it," is a statement that I have heard frequently in my work as a therapist who specializes in helping survivors of trauma. I have spoken with numerous survivors whose families and friends asked them, "Why can't you just get over it?"

Awareness of the impact that trauma can have on an individual is spreading, however there is still a lot of misinformation and stigma that many survivors experience. Although everyone copes with trauma and the healing process differently, the following are some universal truths that I wish every survivor of sexual trauma could hear.

1. What happened to you was not your fault.

I know you may have heard this before, but that it might be difficult for you to believe. You may think to yourself, "If only I hadn't gone to that party, this wouldn't have happened" or "I didn't tell anyone what was happening, so I must have wanted it."

First off, I want you to know that this is a common reaction to sexual trauma. Your mind wants to make sense of a situation that ultimately was out of your control. Therefore, many people wrongly believe that they must have been responsible for what happened to them.

When someone is sexually abused, the only person who is to blame is the perpetrator. You did the best that you could, with the coping skills that you had at the time. No matter what party you went to, if you had a drink, if you didn't fight the person off, if you were dating the person, if you were aroused and regardless of any other circumstance -- it was not your fault. You were not responsible for this and you certainly did not deserve it.

Think about what you would tell a friend who shared with you the same experience. It is unlikely that you would tell your friend that what happened to them was their fault. You deserve to give yourself the same compassion that you would give to a friend or loved one who went through a trauma. If you are struggling with intense feelings of shame and guilt following trauma, it could be helpful to consider reaching out to a therapist-preferably one who specializes in trauma.

2. Your responses are normal reactions to an abnormal experience.

Some people who experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress feel that they are "going crazy." When someone experiences trauma his or her body naturally goes into "fight or flight" mode. This reaction to a stressor in the environment, developed as it was evolutionarily advantageous and protected our ancestors from imminent danger.

According to The National Institute of Mental Health,"This fight-or-flight response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), this reaction is changed or damaged. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they're no longer in danger."

Not everyone who experiences trauma will go on to develop PTSD. However, if you are experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress or have received a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder, it is important to note that you are not "crazy."

First off, I find it offensive to label any individual as "crazy." Secondly, you experienced something that no one should have to go through. Your body and mind may be trying desperately to make sense of what happened. No matter what symptoms you may be experiencing as a result of your trauma, you are certainly not alone in experiencing them.

3. Healing and recovery is possible.

There are numerous individuals whose lives serve as examples that healing and recovery following sexual trauma is possible. Erin Merryn is one woman who is an amazing example of resilience following sexual trauma. Erin is a mother, wife, author, activist, and Glamour Magazine 2012 Woman of the Year, who has been featured in numerous media outlets. She is also a survivor of childhood sexual assault and went on to create"Erin's Law," which "requires that all public schools in each state implement a prevention-oriented child sexual abuse program." In her book entitled, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness, Merryn stated,

As I faced each tragedy in my life, I learned to reach into the depth of my soul for strength and determination. Through this healing process, I discovered perseverance and resilience. I could not go into the past and use White-Out to erase any events; instead, I had to find a way to use my pain to help me heal and grow. I had to stare darkness in the face and accept that I could not change the past, but I could build a better future.

If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it's not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Three British Teens Allegedly Run Away from ISIS

DAILY SABAH
ISTANBUL

The three British teenage girls who were believed to have joined the Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS) are on the run after escaping from the group, according to a report in British newspaper the Daily Mail.

Shamima Begum, 15, Amira Abase, 15, and Kadiza Sultana, 16 in February

A blogger in Mosul city, who goes by the name of "Mosul Eye," claimed in a post on his Facebook page that the three girls escaped on May 2, adding "Three girls, (Foreigners – British) married to ISIL (ISIS) militants, reported missing, and ISIL announced to all its checkpoints to search for them. It is believed that those girls have escaped."

In addition to the very first post about the flight of the three, the anonymous blogger gave some other information about the fugitives' profile, "They are Brits, not immigrants, and they are very young teens (around 16 years old). That's all I have about them for now."

The on-the-run-girls, who are believed to have fled in order to marry ISIS militants, were claimed for a few days to be the same teenagers, named Shamima Begum, 15, Amira Abase, 15, and Kadiza Sultana, 16, who had left Bethnal Green Academy in East London in early February and flew to Turkey before crossing the border into Syria. The matter of the three British girls turned into a diplomatic incident when Turkish authorities criticized Britain's failure to alert them in time.

Mosul City

However, the blogger wrote in another statement, posted 10 days after the original post, that he "cannot confirm, as of yet, if those girls were the same trio mentioned in the British media, as their identities are still unknown," and added, "The latest info I got on them is they are still on the run, but still in Mosul, and ISIL is thoroughly searching for them and has not captured them yet."

Regarding the speculation about the fugitive British girls, U.K. Home Secretary Theresa May was asked whether the trio would be allowed to return to the UK or not. The home secretary told ITV1's Good Morning Britain that she is "not able to talk about individual cases" as such cases of return from Syria or Iraq should be evaluated on "a case-by-case basis." May also pointed out that several young Britons who joined ISIS came back after a while disillusioned with the group after "suddenly realizing what a mistake they made."

The question of who those three girls really are remains unanswered, with Mosul Eye the only source.

This is obviously a very dangerous situation for these 3 girls, no matter who they are. Especially if they have not made it out of Mosul. It is unlikely that they can get out of Mosul on their own, so I expect they are in contact with someone outside.

ISIS will be looking for them, and all the more diligently now that the story has leaked out. It would not be good propaganda for ISIS should the girls make it out alive to tell their stories.

Please pray for these girls.

Mosul, Iraq

Children’s Safe Harbor Recognizes 1,000-plus Child Sex Abuse Victims in Montgomery Co.

Children's Safe Harbor staff are my heroes today

Clare Lucas and Michelle Sanson place blue pinwheels in the ground near the
Alan B. Sadler Administration building in downtown Conroe.
More than 1,000 were placed in recognition of Child Abuse Awareness Month.

By Brandon K. Scott
Montgomery Co. Courier

The Children’s Safe Harbor in Conroe treated a record 1,053 children last year that had been sexually abused, according to Executive Director Dr. Victoria Constance.

To recognize the victims, the harbor joined community stakeholders this week in displaying 1,053 pinwheels on the grounds of the Alan B. Sadler Administrative Building in downtown Conroe.

Montgomery County commissioners granted permission for the ceremony to recognize April as National Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month.

Constance said April 30 was chosen as the day to display the pinwheels to show each one represents the life of a child who walked through the Safe Harbor’s doors in 2014.

“A pinwheel moves with the air, so there’s movement forward,” Constance said. “When you see those, they’re actually children’s lives that we have impacted and I believe we’ve positively impacted these children.”

The Safe Harbor has been in Conroe for 16 years, but never saw this many children in a single year, Constance said.

Surpassing 1,000 new cases of child sexual abuse ranks the Safe Harbor, located in rural-suburban Conroe, along with other urban centers across the nation.

Constance said Montgomery County’s population growth is one of the factors driving up the number of cases.

“There’s a certain number of children that are going to come forward and as population grows, there are more children,” Constance said. ”We are doing a better job of serving these children.”

First Assistant Phil Grant called the Safe Harbor “an incredible resource” for abused and neglected children in the community.

“As terrible as the event is that is represented by these pinwheels, there is victory in the end when we see the perpetrators punished and children made whole again.” he said.

Grant added that Safe Harbor, along with law enforcement and the DA’s Office, are working together to see children emerge as survivors, noting that it is unfortunate the children find their way into the criminal justice system as victims of physical or sexual abuse.

The Safe Harbor wanted to illustrate the two-part process of healing and justice stressed at by the child victims advocacy group.

“(The commissioners) wanted it outside of their building, which I think is a beautiful thing,” Constance said. “It’s there where the public can see for one day how many children’s lives are impacted. Let the healing and justice move forward because their lives are going to continue to touch this entire community.”

Children's Safe Harbor (I believe), Conroe, Tx

Montgomery County has a population of about 500,000, leaving about 112,000 children under 18 years of age. Safe Harbour has treated about 1% of all children in the county. Statistically, 15 - 20% of children are sexually abused in the US, leaving 14,000 to 19,000 sexually abused children untreated in the county unless they are getting help from another source.

Safe Harbor should be congratulated for their excellent work, God bless them. But is anything being done to help the other children, or do they simply fall through the very large cracks in government floors?

If governments can't stop the incredible amount of sexual abuse of children, the very least they can do is to take responsibility for the care and treatment of every single victim.

France Gets a Big 'FAIL' for How It Handles Child Sex Abuse Victims

France failing child sex abuse victims, survey finds

By RFI
France’s social services are failing to protect children from sex abuse, an NGO charged this weekend after a survey showed that only four per cent of victims had received help from the appropriate agency.

One in five women in France and one in 14 men say they have suffered sexual abuse and 81 per cent of them were abused before they were 18, 51 per cent before the age of 11 and 21 per cent before the age of six.

The campaign group Mémoire traumatique and victimologie, supported by the UN’s children’s fund Unicef, spoke to 1,210 victims between the ages of 15 and 72, 95 per cent of them women.

Almost all of them - 95 per cent – reported that their experience had affected their mental and physical health and 42 per cent had attempted suicide, some as many as 10 times.

More than half of the victims had been abused by a member of their family.

The organisation, which has launched a campaign called Stop au Déni (Stop Denial), accuses the authorities of failing to supply appropriate support, protection and recognition of victims, especially the most vulnerable, “while the effects on health, emotional, family and professional life seem to be extremely significant”.

Only four per cent of victims said that the children’s support agency Aide sociale had helped them and the majority of those who had complained to police said they were “not protected”.

Stop au Déni, which was to present the survey’s findings to a conference on Monday 2 March, called the situation a “public health scandal”.

Good first step; long overdue! God bless you Stop au Déni for bringing this dreadful situation to light. Now maybe, just maybe, the government will have to start addressing this problem, or at least thinking about it.

“The authorities must urgently provide the resources needed to effectively protect, support and care for the victims so as to break the vicious cycle of abuse,” Stop au Déni’s president Dr Muriel Salmona said on Sunday.