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Erin's Law - Watching the Kids
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I sat in my bedroom today booking travel for an upcoming work trip when one of my daughters appeared at the door. “Mom can we go inside Lauren’s house?” I quickly responded “No!” She left my room and went back outside to tell her sisters. Minutes later my middle daughter appears. “Mom can we please go inside Lauren’s house? We want to play with her barbies.” “I already told your sister no.” “Bring your barbies outside and play with them in the yard with your friend.” “But mom it’s so hot outside.” “The answer is no. It’s not up for discussion.” They knew coming inside our house was not an option with their one year old brother napping. She disappears and I go back to working. Ten minutes passed and now my youngest daughter is at my door. Her older sisters were making one last effort to see if I would change my mind. “Mommy please can we go! We promise we won’t watch TV or play video games at her house.” That was not why I was saying no. They were now testing my patience by asking me for a third time and not taking no for an answer the first time. I became frustrated and had a talk with all of them that if they asked me again they would have to come inside and say goodbye to their friends. I returned to my bedroom and sat there thinking would my answer have been different if I didn’t experience the abuse I lived through at my best friend's house. Mom guilt consumed me. The house they wanted to go to the mother works and the Dad is home watching the kids daily.
There is no way I would let my children be in the home of a friend's house with just a male present. I know that some of you may be quick to point out women can be abusers too but it is far more common that it is men. I trust very few men and not about to take any chances with my children.
It sounds innocent my children wanting to play at their friend's house with their barbie dolls but I was doing exactly that at their age and suffered horrific abuse. Playing in the home of my best friend during the day with only her uncle in the home watching us while her mom worked. We were in her bedroom playing with barbie dolls. When her uncle saw the chance when my friend left the room he slipped in and locked the door. Suddenly a fun afternoon of playing with barbie dolls turned quickly to terror. Suddenly I found this man on top of me silencing my screams with his hand as he raped me. I could tell you the color shirt he wore, the shoes I was wearing, and the threats he told me to keep me silent. The abuse didn’t end there. There was many more terrifying evil moments with this monster including an incident in the dress I am wearing below.
I know the days like today will come again around play dates and sleepovers and the answer will always be the same. Some may argue I shouldn’t punish my kids because of terrible things from my childhood and live a life in fear of all the bad things that can happen. I will say this I would rather my children be in therapy one day for all the playdates and sleepovers they missed out on then what I have spent years in therapy reliving. Something tells me they will not be scarred from this. These girls of mine have been on many playdates in the homes of friends without me. Just as long as mom is present I am okay with it. Never judge a person's decisions when you haven’t walked in their shoes. I am confident most would be making the same decisions I am around this if they lived through my childhood. And if you don’t agree with me please do me a favor and at least talk to your kids about personal body safety before sending them off to play dates and sleepovers. 🙏🏻 ❤️
The naivety of the young girls to not sense any danger resulted in their persistence. Erin, however, sensed danger from the man being home alone with his children. I frequently beg parents to not put their preschool kids in a daycare where there may be a man, or men, present. And, also, to not employ male babysitters for their kids. My suspicions go back to the feeling that men are not naturally inclined to be babysitters. Those who chose to work in that field are, in my humble opinion, suspect of unnatural attractions to children.
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