Everyday thousands of children are being sexually abused. You can stop the abuse of at least one child by simply praying. You can possibly stop the abuse of thousands of children by forwarding the link in First Time Visitor? by email, Twitter or Facebook to every Christian you know. Save a child or lots of children!!!! Do Something, please!

3:15 PM prayer in brief:
Pray for God to stop 1 child from being molested today.
Pray for God to stop 1 child molestation happening now.
Pray for God to rescue 1 child from sexual slavery.
Pray for God to save 1 girl from genital circumcision.
Pray for God to stop 1 girl from becoming a child-bride.
If you have the faith pray for 100 children rather than one.
Give Thanks. There is more to this prayer here

Please note: All my writings and comments appear in bold italics in this colour

Showing posts with label comedian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedian. Show all posts

Friday, 30 September 2022

Perverted Lives of the Rich and Famous > Comedian, Haddish, sued for Child Sex Abuse; All Star Pitcher, Wetteland, a Mistrial; British-Pakistani Actor Charged with Child Rape

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Tiffany Haddish addresses child molestation lawsuit for 1st time


By Kathryn Mannie  Global News
Posted September 6, 2022 7:23 am

Tiffany Haddish attends the YWCA-GLA 2022 Phenomenal Women Award celebration on June 14, 2022
in Inglewood, California. Paul Archuleta/Getty Images


Comedian Tiffany Haddish spoke out Monday about allegations that she and fellow comedian Aries Spears groomed and molested two children on camera for sexually explicit skits. The accusations came to light after the two siblings filed a lawsuit last week against the actors claiming that they had been “traumatized for life” by the incidents.

Haddish took to Instagram to address the lawsuit for the first time.

“I know people have a bunch of questions. I get it. I’m right there with you. Unfortunately, because there is an ongoing legal case, there’s very little that I can say right now,” Haddish wrote in the post.

Among other things, Haddish is accused in the lawsuit of coercing a then 14-year-old girl to mimic fellatio in a filmed sketch. Haddish acknowledged that she participated in the sexually explicit skit in her Instagram post.

“But, clearly, while the sketch was intended to be comedic, it wasn’t funny at all — and I deeply regret having agreed to act in it,” she wrote. “I really look forward to being able to share a lot more about this situation as soon as I can.”

Haddish and Spears’ alleged victims were identified only as Jane Doe, now 22, and John Doe, now 14, in a lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court.

Jane, as John’s legal guardian, filed the lawsuit against the comedians both individually and on behalf of her younger brother for incidents alleged to have occurred in 2013 and 2014. The claims have yet to be tested in court.

Haddish and Spears “stole the youth of a 7-year-old child and a 14-year-old child,” the lawsuit reads.

According to the lawsuit, Haddish and Spears met the children because their mother was friends with Haddish through the comedy circuit. The siblings claim they used to call Haddish “Auntie Tiff,” and she called them “niece” and “nephew.”

In 2013, Haddish allegedly asked Jane, then 14, to act in a skit with her after the comedian appeared as a guest speaker at the comedy summer camp that Jane was attending. Haddish told Jane she had the “perfect role” for her, the lawsuit reads.

“Only Spears and Haddish knew the storyline for the skit,” the lawsuit alleges. Jane claims that the shoot ended with her mimicking fellatio at Haddish’s instruction.

“Haddish verbally explained what was expected of plaintiff Jane Doe and then showed Plaintiff Jane Doe how to give fellatio, including movements, noises, moaning, and groaning,” it said.

“Physically, emotionally, and mentally uncomfortable, plaintiff Jane Doe mimicked the acts that Haddish and Spears wanted her to do so she could go home,” the lawsuit continues.

The next year, Haddish allegedly offered a role to Jane’s younger brother, telling the siblings’ mother that it would be “a sizzle reel for Nickelodeon,” to help the boy get cast by the TV network, the suit says.

According to the suit, the skit was titled Through A Pedophile’s Eyes and involved a child, John, being left alone with a man, played by Spears, who “leers at the child lustfully.”

John, then seven, was allegedly stripped “down to his underwear” and Spears massaged oil on his body. Later in the shoot, the two supposedly got into a bathtub with Spears forcing the child “closer to him in the tub.”

In the final scene of the skit, John is “portrayed as leering lustfully” at Spears before rubbing oil on his body, the lawsuit claims. The video ends with text on the screen reading: “WATCH WHO YOU LEAVE YOUR KIDS WITH!”

“After filming, Mr. Doe called his mother crying, saying he did not want to film anymore,” the lawsuit said.

The plaintiffs’ mother claims she repeatedly asked Haddish and Spears about “what was filmed that made her son cry,” and Spears told her that he would get back to her about showing her footage. Days later, Spears told the plaintiffs’ mother that John had been uncooperative during the shoot and the footage was unusable and “deleted,” the lawsuit reads.

Four years later, in 2018, the plaintiffs’ mother learned that the allegedly deleted skit had been published online, including on the Funny or Die website.

“The mother, upset, stated that she would have never let her son participate in a pedophile, child pornography skit,” the lawsuit claimed.

“Funny Or Die found the video absolutely disgusting and would never produce such content,” a spokesperson for the website stated.

“We were not involved with the conceptualization, development, funding, or production of this video. It was uploaded to the site as user-generated content and removed in 2018 immediately after becoming aware of its existence.”

The lawsuit says that both Jane and John have developed social disorders as a result of the alleged abuse.

The lawsuit claims that Jane “is scared she will be taken advantage of again and led down a path of false trust like the path that Haddish led her down.” As for John, the lawsuit says he “stays in his room at home and places Band-Aids over the cameras on his electronics for fear of being watched or recorded.”

Lawyers for Haddish and Spears have individually dismissed the lawsuit, characterizing it as a shakedown. Andrew Brettler, Haddish’s lawyer, claimed that the plaintiffs’ mother has “been trying to assert these bogus claims against Ms. Haddish for several years.”

The lawyer called the claims “meritless” and said that Haddish had previously shown she “would not be shaken down.”

“Now, (the plaintiffs’ mother) has her adult daughter representing herself in this lawsuit. The two of them will together face the consequences of pursuing this frivolous action,” Brettler said.

In a separate statement, Spears’ lawyer Debra Opri said the comedian “isn’t going to fall for any shakedown.”

Jane and John are suing Haddish and Spears for unspecified damages.

They should be charged as pedophiles for what they did to those kids.

=====================================================================================



Mistrial declared in child sex assault case against former

All-Star pitcher John Wetteland


It was unclear if prosecutors will retry the case against the 56-year-old.

Wetteland faced 25 years to life in prison, if convicted.

By The Associated Press
Sun., Sept. 4, 2022

DENTON, Texas (AP) A Texas judge has declared a mistrial in the child sex assault case against former All-Star and World Series MVP pitcher John Wetteland after the jury deadlocked.


The Denton County jury told Judge Lee Ann Breading three times that it was split before she declared a mistrial Friday. Wetteland, who played for the Texas Rangers from 1997 to 2000 and also played for the New York Yankees and Seattle Mariners, was being tried on three counts of aggravated sexual assault of a child.

It was unclear if prosecutors will retry the case against the 56-year-old. The Rangers’ Hall of Famer faced 25 years to life in prison, if convicted.

Authorities had accused Wetteland of sexually assaulting a child three times between 2004 and 2006, starting when the child was 4 years old. Wetteland, who pleaded not guilty, testified in his own defense and said the accuser’s account of sexual abuse was a lie.

The accuser, who is now 22, said the abuse happened in the master bathroom shower of Wetteland’s home in Bartonville, located just south of Denton.

Wetteland’s attorneys said the accuser was manipulated to levy false accusations against Wetteland.

The accuser testified that he didn’t want to involve law enforcement. Instead, he had written a letter intended only for family members disclosing the abuse. But, according to testimony, an investigation started after the accuser’s high school learned of the allegations in 2019 when district software flagged a letter written in Google Docs that was linked to the accuser’s school-issued email.

Prosecutor Rachel Nichols said the accuser had “nothing to gain” by coming forward with abuse allegations.

“He’s not this evil kid,” Nichols said. “He didn’t want the world to know.”




Hollyoaks actor charged with rape and child cruelty offences

Holly Christodoulou
16:26, 29 Sep 2022

A HOLLYOAKS actor has appeared in court charged with rape and child cruelty.

Rizwan Khan, 37, is accused of a string of sexual offences.


Rizwan Khan has been charged with rape. Credit: Evening Gazette


He appeared at Newton Aycliffe Magistrates' Court yesterday for a brief hearing. The actor, who wore a black jumper and white shirt, spoke only to confirm his name, date of birth and address.

Khan is charged with five counts of rape, one section two offence of the Sexual Offences Act, and one count of causing unnecessary suffering/injury to a child.

He was bailed to next appear at Teesside Crown Court on October 26.

Khan appeared in a number of Hollyoaks episodes between 2019 and 2020.

He also had a role as a parent in Everybody's Talking About Jamie in 2021 and this year appeared in This England.

Khan was also in two episodes of ITV detective show Vera and an episode of Holby City.

His IMDb page states: "At the age of 34, Riz decided it was time to make his son proud and pursue the dream of becoming an actor.

"He continues to seize opportunities in both acting and modelling; gaining contracts with a number of high street chains.

"He is constantly quoting to his friends 'Life right now is amazing, I am thankful everyday and run with every opportunity'."

=====================================================================================


Thursday, 8 February 2018

Some Young Men, Comedian, Band Coach, Scott Baio on Today's USA PnP List

Utah teen arrested on suspicion of
child sex abuse, bestiality
By Paighten Harkins

A 19-year-old Cache County man has been arrested on suspicion of sexually abusing at least five children, as well as a dog, the Cache County Sheriff’s Office said Thursday.

Christopher VanDam, of Lewiston, was arrested Thursday on multiple counts of sodomy on a child, sex abuse of a child, sexual battery and bestiality, the sheriff’s office said.

“At this time, we know of at least five victims ranging in age from 4-13 years old, and the abuse has been ongoing for several years. Investigators are still actively working this cases,” according to a news release.

Sheriff Chad Jensen said Thursday evening that the case was only a few hours old. Online records show VanDam was booked into Cache County jail about 12:45 p.m.

The case began when one of the alleged victims contacted the sheriff’s office, Jensen said, adding the report “just led to a lot more.” Jensen declined to say how the victims and the suspect were connected.

“I think as things come out, my guess would be there would be more victims brought into the case,” he said. 

The sheriff’s office asked anyone with additional information about the case to contact them through their tip line at 435-755-1100.





Alabama man charged with rape, sex abuse of child
By Carol Robinson crobinson@al.com

A Pelham man is charged with two felony crimes involving the sex abuse of a child.

Brandon Scott Alexander, 38, was arrested Tuesday, according to court records made public Thursday. He is charged with first-degree rape and sex abuse of a child under the age of 12, and was booked into the Shelby County Jail with bonds totaling $90,000.

The arrest warrants state that the alleged incidents happened between October 2015 and August 2016. The child was between the ages of 9 and 10 at the time. Alexander, records state, did engage in sexual intercourse with the child. No other details were made available.

Pelham police investigated the case. A preliminary hearing is set for Feb. 28.




Virginia man gets 8 years for receiving images
of child sex abuse
WRIC Newsroom

HENRICO COUNTY, Va. (WRIC) — A Henrico County man was sentenced Thursday to eight years in prison and 10 years of supervised release for receiving images of child sexual abuse.

According to court records, 37-year-old Charles Tiffit Ellis, Jr. responded to an ad placed on Craigslist by an undercover officer, which read in part, “Looking to meet other taboo Dads/moms to chat n more….”

Ellis communicated with the undercover via ‘Kik’ messenger app and, after confirming that they were on the same page regarding the term “taboo,” Ellis sent the undercover officer links to his Dropbox account for several child pornography videos involving prepubescent children. Ellis also sent the undercover a video of someone Ellis claimed was a 14-year-old girl he met online and filmed performing oral sex on him. A search warrant on Ellis’ home yielded corroborating evidence on his phone.

CBS6 say Ellis is a comedian.





High School band coach arrested on child sex
allegations in Colorado
Robert Garrison

CENTENNIAL, Colo. — A band coach at Eaglecrest High School in Centennial was arrested following allegations he had sex with a student.

Geoffrey Banninger, 23, was arrested Wednesday evening on suspicion of sexual assault on a child by one in a position of trust and pattern of sexual abuse.

The former part-time band instructor for the Cherry Creek school allegedly had sex with a 16-year-old female student on more than one occasion at his home near Golden in unincorporated Jefferson County, according to a sheriff's office news release.

Jefferson County investigators said they were informed of the claims against the 23-year-old man by Arapahoe County authorities just hours before his arrest.

Eaglecrest HS

Banninger, who had also been a volunteer coach with the Arvada High School Band, has been terminated by the Cherry Creek School District and prohibited from accessing the school or students.

The suspect is currently being held at the Jefferson County Jail on a $5,000 bond.

Parents and students told Denver7 that Benninger was a percussionist instructor and was known to text students, especially female students.

His arrest comes amid a series of troubling allegations and charges against teachers and faculty members at other schools within the Cherry Creek School District. 

In January, three leaders at Prairie Middle School in Aurora (10th story on link) were indicted on charges they failed to properly report claims of sexual assault by social studies teacher Brian Vasquez on a 14-year-old student in August 2017.

Earlier in the same month, Broderick Lundie, 30, a former Cherry Creek Schools security guard, pleaded guilty to sexual assault of a Grandview High School student.

Eaglecrest High School officials said they will have counselors and mental health workers available for any students who have questions or need support.





Tulsa woman gets 25 years for video-recording
herself sexually abusing child for her boyfriend
By Curtis Killman Tulsa World 

A Tulsa woman who admitted to recording herself sexually abusing (4th story on link) a 16-month-old female relative was sentenced Thursday to serve a 25-year federal prison term.

Jerrica Ann Renee Teehee Lackey, 30, was also ordered to serve 120 months of post-custody supervision.

Lackey will serve the sentence concurrently with any time she receives in a related criminal case filed in state court.

A Tulsa federal grand jury named Lackey in a three-count indictment July 11 after she told 911 dispatchers earlier that she had sexually abused the child.

A criminal complaint indicates that Lackey called 911 dispatchers May 16 after the child’s father confronted her after finding nude pictures of his daughter and sexually explicit videos of Lackey and the child on Lackey's smartphone.

Lackey reportedly told investigators that she used her smartphone to produce video recordings or live feeds of her molesting the child. She said the videos were sent to her boyfriend, whom she met two months prior online and lived in Florida.

One of the videos Lackey sent depicts her penetrating the child with her finger, according to an affidavit prepared by investigators.

Lackey told investigators that her boyfriend would become upset and “punish” her when she would forget to record or send videos.

Under the terms of an agreement with prosecutors, Lackey pleaded guilty to sexually abusing a child under the age of 12. Prosecutors, in turn, dismissed one count of distribution of child pornography and one count of possession of child porn.

Lackey also faces six related counts of sexual abuse of a child under the age of 12 in Tulsa County District Court.

Lackey has been jailed since her arrest in May.





CCPD: More victims come forward in
Texas child sexual assault case
Monica Lopez, Corpus Christi 

Corpus Christi police say 12 girls ages 12 to 16 have reported they were assaulted by 30-year-old Matthew Lucio, who was arrested in December on suspicion of drugging and sexually assaulting a minor.

A news release from the department states that more victims and witnesses may come forward in the ongoing investigation, based on digital evidence and statements from the victims.

Lucio, who is also known as Kane Luciano, was arrested Dec. 27 on suspicion of possession or distribution of child pornography, online solicitation of a minor and aggravated sexual assault.

According to an affidavit, that case came to light when the mother of a 12-year-old girl made a report on behalf of her daughter of sexual assault on Dec. 22. The victim told police she was sexually assaulted on Dec. 16, the document reads. 

The Corpus Christi Police Department's unit for internet crimes against children, along with the family violence unit, obtained a warrant and arrested Lucio, according to a news release from the police department. He was booked into the Nueces County Jail with bail set at $500,000.

Because of the new allegations that have come to light, several additional charges of sexual assault of a child and aggravated sexual assault have been added. Lucio remains in jail, with an increased bail of $1.9 million dollars.

The sexual assaults reported in the new allegations are reported to have occurred between 2007 and 2017.

Police encourage anyone with information to call Senior Officer Alicia Escobar, the lead investigator of the case, at 361-826-2996. 





7 years later: Ohio man indicted
on charges of sex abuse of child

Sarah Brookbank, sbrookbank@enquirer.com 

A Warren County man, now 22, was indicted this month after prosecutors said he had sexual contact with a child under the age of 8 at his home where a family member ran an in-home day care seven years ago.

Michael Abner, 22, of Franklin, was indicted this month on three counts of gross sexual imposition, Warren County Prosecutor David Fornshell said Thursday.

Abner was 15 at the time of the sexual contact, Fornshell said. Foenshell said the incidents took place at a home on Clearbrook Drive in Franklin.

"Although Abner knew the child-victim separate and apart from the daycare, Abner has had access to other children during this time," Fornshell said in a statement. "At this time, law enforcement has no information to suggest there are other victims."

Fornshell said he wanted to alert parents who may have sent their children to the day care. The victim was not enrolled in the day care, he said. 

Fornshell said parents with suspicions or concerns should contact Detective Jeff Stewart at the Franklin Police Department at 937-746-2882 or jstewart@franklinohio.org.




Michigan man twice convicted of sex abuse of children
accused of doing it again
By Lynn Moore lmoore8@mlive.com

MUSKEGON COUNTY, MI - Already twice convicted of sexually abusing children, a 45-year-old man is accused of doing it again - over a two-year period.

David Keith Wolters of White Cloud has been charged with first-degree criminal sexual conduct in Muskegon County District Court.

He's accused of sexually penetrating a child under age 13 more than once between 2010 and 2012, said Muskegon County Chief Assistant Prosecutor Timothy Maat.

Wolters has prior convictions for second-degree CSC involving minor victims in 1992 and 1994, Maat said. He has a lifetime order to comply with requirements of the Michigan Sex Offender Registry Act.

The 2010-12 assaults are alleged to have occurred in a Muskegon home,
Maat said. The allegations came to light when the victim told a friend who advised her to tell her mother, which the victim did, Maat said.

Wolters also has a 2017 conviction for felony attempted larceny between $1,000 and $20,000.

Because of his prior convictions, Wolters is being charged as a four-time habitual offender. That would increase his sentencing guidelines if he's convicted.

First-degree CSC is punishable by up to life in prison. Actual sentences are determined by judges based on the state guidelines.




Two former child actors accuse Happy Days
star Scott Baio of sexual abuse

Baio, right, with his Joannie Loves Chachi co-star Erin Moran, who is not involved in the scandal CREDIT: REX FEATURES

Scott Baio, who played Chachi in Happy Days, has been accused of abusing two of his Charles In Charge co-stars while they were minors. 

Baio came to fame as Bugsy Malone at the age of 16 before joining Happy Days. His character Chachi had his own spin-off, Joannie Loves Chachi, and Baoi then starred in Charles In Charge, where he played a college student who lived with a family and babysat their children. 

The children were played by Nicole Eggert, who joined the show when she was 14, and Alexander Polinsky, who was 11. Both have come forward to accuse Baoi of sexual and violent abuse. 

It was public knowledge that Baio had dated Eggert, who was 11 years his junior, during the 1980s, but their relationship has been cast in a darker light after she filed a police report against him alleging that he sexually abused her from the age of 14, and had sex with her when she was too young to consent. 

Polinsky was with her when she spoke to officers on Tuesday, confirming her story and adding that he had been bullied by Baio, who was in his late 20s during Charles In Charge.  

Eggert's attorney gave a statement to The Hollywood Reporter yesterday explaining:"Nicole answered all of their questions for over an hour and told her story of sexual abuse by Scott Baio when she was a minor. A witness, Alexander Polinsky, appeared as well and told the detectives about inappropriate touching he witnessed, as well as his own allegations of bullying by Scott Baio."

Eggert has also made allegations against Baio on social media and several talk shows. She recently tweeted "Ask @scottbaio what happened in his garage at his house when I was a minor. Creep."

On an episode of Megyn Kelly Today, Eggert said that he sexually abused her "probably once a week" between the ages of 14 and 16, and that she lost her virginity to him at 17. The age of consent in California is 18. In an interview for The Talk, she said the abuse began when she was “14 years old, 1986". 

"And before I was 15 years old," she continued, "he had me at his home, in his car, in his garage and he penetrated my vagina with his finger. This is where it began and this continued almost on a weekly basis for years. Of course, the abuse progressed from there quite a bit although I remained a virgin until I was 17."

Polinsky also gave a statement to The Talk which claimed that "working on the set of Charles in Charge from age 11 to 15 was no picnic". He described it as "a toxic environment" and said "I witnessed Scott Baio acting inappropriately towards Nicole Eggert during my first year of working on the show. I walked in on them together behind the set. Nicole was on Scott’s lap and he did not appreciate my intrusion. He yelled at me and called me various homophobic slurs."

Polinsky continued: "Growing up on the show I received regular verbal attacks, mental abuse and I also suffered a physical assault at the hands of Scott Baio. There is no excuse for his behavior. It is abhorrent."

Baio has repeatedly denied Eggert's claims both on Facebook and in television interviews. An interview that Eggert gave to American television personality Dr Oz, in which she detailed the alleged abuse, was shelved after Baio's representative told the show: "Nicole Eggert was well past the age of 18 when she came to Scott Baio looking for a sexual experience. Given this, her other vague claims, which Scott has consistently denied, cannot have any merit."



Saturday, 1 October 2016

One Mississippi - The Life of Sexually Abused Comedian Tig Notaro

What Tig Notaro’s New Show Gets Right about
Child Sexual Abuse
Image result for Tig Notaro

By Sarah Newman, MA

In the new Amazon series One Mississippi, loosely based on the life of comedian Tig Notaro, she finds herself living back home in Mississippi following the sudden death of her mother. Staying in her childhood home with her stepfather, Bill, and her adult brother, Remy, Tig isn’t just facing the grief of losing her mother, she’s recovering from breast cancer, which resulted in a double mastectomy, and suffering from a C. diff infection. She’s also dealing with the ghosts of her past. Tig — as she’s also called on the show — was molested by her grandfather throughout her childhood.

Although it’s estimated that one in 10 children will be sexually abused before age 18, it’s rare to see a TV series deal with the reality of child sexual abuse. There’s so much about the issue that One Mississippi gets right.

One in 10 is a very conservative number. The best estimates are about 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys.

People are a part of the trauma even if they don’t want to be

Looking through a box of old photographs with her brother, Tig sees a picture of herself as a young girl sitting beside her grandfather. “Hey look, you’re being molested right now,” she says to the photo.

“Aw, come on, Tig!” her brother squirms.

“What? I was,” she tells him. “At least let me joke about it.”

“We should just throw that out,” he says grabbing the picture and leaving the room.

Hearing about child molestation can make people uncomfortable. It may be disturbing to imagine that your memories of a situation are tainted because in a back room or while your sister was away at camp she was being victimized. You don’t want to be a part of that reality — but neither does the victim.

Pretending that the past is over and that the pain doesn’t remain can’t fix anything. It’s alienating. It reinforces shame. It tells a victim, “This thing that happened to you is too grotesque for me to face and so I can’t be connected to you right now.”

Pretending it isn’t there, doesn’t make it go away

Tig’s molestation keeps coming up even at the most seemingly unrelated moments because it is related. It’s related to everything. Trauma is woven into the fabric of life. She’s at home — not just in the town, but in the very house she lived in during the abuse. She’s surrounded by the same individuals who were a part of her life during the abuse, even if they had no idea what was happening to her.

Each times her family tries to keep abuse out of the conversation, resentment wells up. When her stepfather’s cat disappears, he accuses Tig of letting her out. She claims he might have mistakenly let her out himself. “You miss a lot,” she tells him.

After a pause, as if it’s the furthest thing from his mind, her stepfather Bill says, “Oh I can’t believe you’re bringing up that again.”

“That? The fact that I was molested by a creepy old man my entire childhood?” she asks.

“It’s been over 30 years. The man is dead,” he says. “ You know, when are you going to let go of that? It’s in the past.”

Moving on from abuse takes more than just “leaving it” in the past and learning to cope requires empathy.

“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. 
It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.” 
– Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: 
Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

You can’t accept good memories without accepting the bad as well

That’s just how autobiographical memory works. Our experience — good and bad — informs everything we do every day.

“You say to move on,” she tells Bill. “Why not move on from the good, too? Like the day I learned to walk or birthday parties. Or when Remy pitched a perfect game? The good is in the past, too, Bill. You can’t pick and choose. Every chapter matters.”

“This is nonsense,” he says.

“You don’t seem to comprehend the impact all of this has had and continues to have on my life and Remy.”

It’s alienating when others won’t accept the bad. You lose closeness and trust in a way that can be difficult to repair.

“If you put shame into a petri dish and cover it with judgment, silence, and secrecy, it grows 
out of control until in consumers everything in sight — you have basically provided shame 
with the environment it needs to thrive. On the other hand, if you put shame in
a petri dish and douse it with empathy, shame loses power and starts to fade.
Empathy creates a hostile environment for shame — it can’t survive.”

– Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)

The truth wants to be told

It takes an inordinate amount of courage for a person to talk about the sexual abuse they suffered. When you’re very young, it’s difficult to understand what’s happening to you. You doubt yourself because it’s easier to imagine you’re misinterpreting the abuse than it is to accept the fact that you’re in a very dangerous situation. In this case, it would also mean having to accept that family, someone who is supposed to love and care for you, is hurting you.

Shame is paralyzing and, despite not being responsible for what’s happening to them, victims often blame themselves. Personally, I felt defective and damaged by the abuse I suffered. I observed that what happened to me at home wasn’t happening in my friends’ homes. But rather than wanting to tell, I felt deeply ashamed. I thought that if other people knew what happened to me they would think I was disgusting, contaminated, perverse. I thought they wouldn’t want to know me anymore. Simultaneously, I didn’t want to keep my abuser’s secret. I didn’t want to protect him, but I felt powerless and afraid of his wrath.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”
— Brené Brown

One can only live in denial for so long. The truth will come out. It shows up in your thoughts and behavior — panic attacks, anxiety, depression, trouble with intimacy, difficulty in relationships, and many other symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

In a flashback, we see Tig’s grades have plummeted and her mother asks her to take her education more seriously. Decline in schoolwork — a sign of the insidious secret abuse. The truth wants to be told.

I dealt with molestation through denial. In the show, Tig appears to deal with it through humor. I think a lot of trauma survivors can relate to “inappropriate humor.”

“A tough sense of humor or biting wit can get you through hard times. As long as you keep people laughing, you maintain a certain perspective distance. And as long as you keep laughing you don’t have to cry.”

– The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis

Empathy is the first step in ending the shame surrounding child sexual abuse and listening to the victim’s story is part of that. Validating their feelings, instead of turning away and giving into your own feelings of shame and guilt, is an important first step.

Maybe if more shows and movies confronted the reality of child sexual abuse, people wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable with the subject, they wouldn’t be caught so off-guard when it touches their lives, and they might learn to respond with empathy. Instead of running away from the truth, we can be inspired by the victim’s strength and remind them that they are worthy of respect and connection.

“Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't
change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
— Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection:
Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are