Jammu and Kashmir Need Your Vote on Change.org to Introduce Basic Child Sex Safety Education to Schools

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Please take a minute to read this and then go to the link at the bottom of the story and sign on to the Change.org application. Jammu and Kashmir is one of the worst areas in the world to be a child with respect to child abuse. Your support can make a difference in the lives of many children.

Introduce ‘Personal Safety Education’ in School Curriculum

to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse

Musab Omer started this petition to Girish Chandra Murmu (Governor of Jammu and Kashmir) and I have been working on raising awareness about child sexual abuse in Jammu and Kashmir since early 2016. Nine out of ten people, I usually speak to, deny the occurrence of child sexual abuse in Kashmir. The response I am most familiar with is that ‘child sexual abuse doesn’t happen in Kashmir.’ 

However, according to a study conducted by Ministry of Women and Child Development (MoWCD), 53% of children across 13 states of India were sexually abused in 2007.

Asifa Bano was kidnapped, drugged, raped and murdered by a group of men.

I fail to understand that if child sexual abuse doesn’t happen in Jammu and Kashmir then how did Kathua rape and murder take place?

In fact, it was the brutal rape and murder of an 8-year-old girl in Kathua, which prompted the Jammu and Kashmir Cabinet to pass an ordinance on Protection of Children from Sexual Violence Ordinance (POCSVO) in April 2018.

Zainab Ansari, Zainab had been raped multiple times and strangled, and her body was thrown into a dumpster

Similarly, on the other side of the border, the brutal rape and murder of a 7-year-old girl prompted the Government of Punjab in Pakistan to announce plans to introduce ‘Child Abuse Awareness’ in their school curriculum.

Undoubtedly, child sexual abuse is quite prevalent in our society, yet we wait for incidents like Kathua and Punjab to happen before taking any much needed preventive measures to address such issues.

My question is very simple: Can we not act proactively and come up with solutions to prevent social evils like child sexual abuse beforehand?

It is very important to understand that child sexual abuse scars a child for a lifetime and the healing process in such cases is very slow. Our Judiciary doesn't help either because the lengthy trials only lead to re-victimisation of a child/adult who dares to speak up against his or her childhood abuser/s.

Therefore, I want the Government of Jammu and Kashmir to introduce a comprehensive ‘Personal Safety Education Program’ in our school curriculum to address child sexual abuse at its roots.

Our children must be made aware about what’s 'safe touch' and what’s 'unsafe touch' from a very young age, in addition to sensitising the teachers and parents in our respective societies about this serious issue. It is time to overcome the myths and social stigma attributed to sex education.

Please sign my petition and join me in saving thousands of children from falling prey to child predators in Jammu and Kashmir.

There are many good web-sites on safe touch - unsafe touch; or, good touch - bad touch. In the USA, Erin's Law has been accepted in most of the states with funding coming from the federal government. 

Please click on sign my petition and help shine a light into one of the darkest areas of the world.

Pervs and Paedos on the Indian Sub-Continent and Persian Gulf > Boy Stabbed Protecting Sis; Sex Law Changes in Dubai; Indian Survivor's Stories

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Delhi: Boy stabbed for objecting to sister's molestation

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'They hit my brother and stabbed him when he objected'

Published:  February 27, 2021 18:51

ANI

  

New Delhi: A 17-year-old boy was admitted to AIIMS Trauma Centre on Friday after being beaten up and stabbed by three boys in the Kalkaji area when he objected to them following his sister and passing indecent remarks.

According to Delhi police, a PCR call was received at police station Kalka Ji regarding a boy who had been stabbed near Sarvodya Vidhalya No. 2 Kalkaji and was being taken to AIIMS trauma for treatment.

As per the police, the eye witness (sister of injured), who was present with him at the time of the incident, stated that three boys followed her and passed indecent remarks. When her brother objected, they beat him up and one of them stabbed him on the left side of the abdomen and fled from the spot.

Meanwhile, the girl who was molested told ANI, "It had been going on for 2-3 days. They hit my brother and stabbed him when he objected."

A case has been registered and further investigation is going on, the police said, adding that efforts are being made to trace the accused who are residents of J.J.Camp Giri Nagar in the area of police station, Govind Puri.

Kalkaji, New Delhi

Dubai couple charged with having sex outside wedlock acquitted

Dubai Court ruling based on provisions of legal amendments made last year

Published:  March 04, 2021 18:04

Ali Al Shouk, Senior Reporter, Gulf News

Dubai: The Dubai Court of Cassation has acquitted two expats of charges that they had a sexual relationship out of wedlock, based on the changes made to the UAE laws last year.

The Filipina and Egyptian couple, both 31, were found guilty earlier by the Dubai Court of First Instance and were sentenced to one month in jail, to be followed by deportation in October last year for having a consensual sexual affair.

The Appeal Court upheld the verdict, but the couple appealed the case at the Cassation Court after the law changed and their act was no longer considered a crime.

According to official records obtained by Gulf News, the couple entered into a relationship after they met on the Tinder dating application.

They had a sexual affair out of wedlock and used the Egyptian’s apartment in Jebel Ali in 2019.

The Filipina who got pregnant was caught when she was to deliver her baby at a hospital in April 2020.

Dubai Police was alerted by the hospital as the woman admitted that the Egyptian was the father of her baby but she was not married to him.

“I had an illegal affair with him at his apartment. I told him that I’m pregnant and he blocked my number. I had a baby girl,” said the Filipina in official records.

The Egyptian was summoned for questioning by Dubai Police but he denied having an illegal affair with the woman.

“We met on Tinder and went for lunch at a restaurant. I didn’t have a sexual affair with her,” said the defendant in official records.

However, a DNA test proved that he was indeed the biological father of the baby.

“I wanted to take my baby and return to my home country, but I couldn’t due to the COVID-19 pandemic,” she added.

Lawyer Hani Hammouda from Kefah Al Zaabi Advocates, defending the Egyptian man, appealed the case at the Cassation Court as per the amended law and according to Federal Decree 15 of 2020. 

Hani Hammouda

“Consensual sex is not punishable by the law as per the new changes. My client was prosecuted for an act that is no longer described a crime,” Hammouda told Gulf News.

“As per UAE laws, the suspect can benefit from the new changes in the laws as long as there is no final verdict issued. Usually each verdict can be appealed within a time limit.”

Grounds for acquittal

According to lawyer Hammouda, the Cassation Court acquitted the pair as per Federal Decree 15 for 2020.

He said the court stated that consensual sex was cancelled from the Federal Punishment Law 3 of 1973, and as a result the act is no longer a crime.

“Based on Article 13 of the law, the court stated that if there is a law issued or changed before the final verdict of a crime, then it can be implemented by the court,” added the lawyer.

Timeline of the case

April 2020: Case registered against the couple at Jebel Ali police station.

August 2020: Dubai Misdemeanor Court sentences the pair to one month in jail and deportation.

October 2020: Dubai Court of Appeal upholds the verdict.

November 2020: New changes in the law announced.

December 2020: The couple is acquitted by Dubai Cassation Court.

What the new changes in the law say

In 2020, a number of presidential decrees were issued amending some articles in the Personal Status Law, the Federal Penal Code and the Federal Penal Procedural Law.

One of the changes was in the UAE Federal Penal Law No. 3 of 1987. Among the amended articles was Article 356, where the provisions have been replaced by virtue of Article 1 of the Federal Decree Law, which states that voluntary or consensual sexual act shall be punished with the same sentence prescribed in the preceding paragraph, if the age of the victim, whether male or female, is less than 14 years old, or if the crime is committed against a person whose will is not considered credible, due to young age, insanity or dementia.

Unbeaten survivors tell their stories of resilience and determination

Soma Basu, The Hindu

MARCH 07, 2021 19:29 IST

Three survivors - of acid attack, child sexual abuse and suicide loss - share with us their journey of healing and transformation

Ritu Saini played her real life role in Deepika Padukone starrer Chhapaak  

The josh in Ritu Saini’s voice is unmistakable. Even while speaking over the phone from Bhubaneshwar where she is busy attending a friend’s wedding, happiness and confidence resonate in her voice.

Ritu has spent the last seven years battling scars. “I have writhed in indescribable pain, could not eat or drink as blood oozed out of my mouth, spent sleepless nights, felt lonely lying almost caged on the hospital bed for three months. But, never for a day did I lose hope, because giving up would mean my inability to dream for my future,” she says. “Today I am in a happy space.”

Her friendly nature and communication skills make her the best guide for burn victims who walk into Chhanv Foundation, a non-profit organisation, that works for the rehabilitation of acid attack survivors. Ritu has also worked at Sheroes Hangout Cafe in Agra and Lucknow and today is able to take care of her mother’s treatment for breast cancer along with her four older siblings. Her father passed away two years ago and she says it was the rock solid support of her family that has taught her not to give in to despair and sorrow.

At 17, she was a State-level volleyball player, and dreamt of becoming a national sports coach or an IPS officer. But her relatives changed the course of her life over a property dispute. On May 26, 2012, when she stepped out of her home in Rohtak, Haryana, to go for her daily practice session, “Two men on a motorcycle came towards me and in a flash I felt I was drowning in a sea of fire,” she says. The acid dissolved her facial features, neck, shoulders, breasts, and hands; the flesh, tissue and bone melted and fused together.

She says when she looked at herself in the mirror for the first time after months of the attack and cried inconsolably, it was her mother, who told her that she was the most beautiful child inside-out and nothing could snatch opportunities away from her. “That day I stopped covering my face,” she says.

Soon after, social activist Alok Dixit, the founder of Chhanv Foundation, walked into her life with a job offer at Sheroes Cafe where she learned accounts and management and later shifted to the foundation’s rehabilitation centre at NOIDA as counsellor. In between, Ritu tried to return to her first love, volleyball but her low vision forced her to hang up her sporting boots.

Four years ago, a small role in Hindi film Akira helped her realise that every opportunity is God-sent. She landed another acting opportunity in 2019. “This time I was playing my real life role as a counsellor of a centre that helps acid attack victims for Chapak and shooting with Deepika Padukone is a lifetime memory,” says Ritu.

“I have learnt to enjoy my present and like anybody else carve out my future on my own strength and ability,” says Ritu, who after 14 operations, skin grafting, plastic surgery and four laser sessions, exudes faith in life. Her eye lids, eye lashes, eyebrows are transplanted, her left eye is artificial, and she is still under treatment.

“I believe what did not kill me has actually made me stronger,” she says.

She shifted the focus of the dialogue

Anuja Amin, 36, Child abuse educator, Ahmedabad

Anuja Amin is against the use of the “good touch, bad touch” narrative propagated as part of sex education in schools. “Who says you feel bad from a bad touch? Is it not natural human physiology to derive pleasure from what we call the bad touch?”Instead, what she now proffers is safe and unsafe touch.

This distinction stems from her own experiences that began when she was five. She remembers her househelp touching her over her clothes, and then carrying on as if nothing had happened. “I was also molested by our watchman who would press my breasts and say you are born to please a man, and I thought it was normal for little girls to go through this,” says Anuja, who failed her school exam at 13 when the supervisor sat next to her pressing her thighs. “I was terrified that day and asked my parents to send me to a boarding school.”

When she came home during the holidays, she had some of her relatives behave similarly. “Hugging your relatives or sitting in your chacha’s lap are never seen as wronged expressions of love. I was always a people-pleaser who never raised objections. Nobody took my clothes off to violate me,” she says.

Anuja went abroad to complete her studies. It took her some years to process the trauma of child sexual abuse. “I realised that a layer of clothing means nothing when you take away someone’s consent,” she says.

In 2010, a Government of India study highlighting rampant child abuse in the country and that every second child is a victim at the hands of known and unknown people, drew her attention. “I had forgotten none of my experiences. Abusers often say ugly things and scar you forever, and I wanted to feel worthy.”

Anuja returned to India in 2010 for a spiritual workshop in Kerala and quit her job the same year. She broke her silence just before her wedding, and shared incidents from the past with her mother, who was shocked, and her fiancee, who was understanding and supportive.

With a part of the burden off, Anuja began researching child sexual abuse and connecting with organisations like Rahi, but found little material that would help children to understand consent and not be compelled to make a moral distinction between the good and the bad. In 2015, she founded Circles of Safety to educate kids and parents on the concept.

Stranger-danger is only 10%, with 90% danger from people children know and trust. When a child realises the touch is not appropriate, the guilt or shame increases and that is why the need to shift the focus of the dialogue, she explains.

Anuja has designed a comprehensive sexuality education programme for grades I to XII with age-appropriate body safety rules and other inputs. The pilot project was run in two private schools in Ahmedabad in 2019-2020. In their feedback, the teachers, parents and students said they were no longer uncomfortable discussing sex and related issues. “The pandemic year delayed the systematic implementation of the module,” says Anuja who is in the process of networking with schools beyond Gujarat.

Her worry is there can never be a checklist for offenders of child sexual abuse. They are helpful, friendly and take their own grooming time to endear themselves. “It is difficult to judge the face; we need to look at their behaviour.”

She calls her curriculum a preventive and rights-based model with the child at the centre. “When my three-year-old daughter says I do not want to be hugged by so and so, I understand and respect her decision,” she says and adds, “all of us need to react responsibly and sensibly." Adults assume that broaching topics related to sexuality 'corrupt' children's minds and so avoid such conversations. But children who are armed with accurate information are more likely to make safe choices and set personal safety boundaries, feels Anuja.

She stands strong

Nandini Murali, 57, suicide prevention activist, Madurai

Until four summers ago, Nandini Murali was a freelance writer and a cancer survivor. In April 2017, her husband, urologist Dr T R Murali, took his life, and their home became a ‘crime scene’. “I died with him,” she says, not just because of the tragedy, but also because she was surrounded by the morbid curiosity of those who came to ‘console’ her. “It seemed everybody wanted to hear a singular, tangible reason to explain his death and the police investigations made it worse,” she says. Estrangement from his side of the family was another blow. “What you see is a new me, who has shed the veil of stigma, shame, secrecy, and silence to tell my true story so that others can empathise with survivors of suicide loss.”

In those moments of grief Nandini found her voice when her spiritual guru advised her not to surrender to victimhood. Her parents, brother, uncles and a few friends stood by her in her journey. “Suicide loss survivors have every right to remember their loved ones by the way they lived their lives, and not how they lost to life,” she says.

Nandini began reading up on suicide and discovered that survivors of suicide loss were unseen and unheard. The pain of her lived experience and the culture and stigma of toxic silence propelled her to establish SPEAK (speakinitiative.org), a suicide prevention initiative of MS Chellamuthu Trust & Research Foundation, on her husband’s first death anniversary.

Carla Fine’s book No Time To Say Goodbye inspired her, and Nandini decided to write her own. It took her two years to write Left Behind, a therapeutic process, part memoir, part helping hand to those who have had the same experience. The focus of both her efforts is to enable members to build resilience in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental space.

The process of learning to re-live after loss is non-linear, says Nandini. “Self care for survivors is about extraordinary self-compassion that requires strength and courage,” she writes. In transmuting her pain to purpose she gives out an important message: to look truth straight in the eye to be able to cope with loss and grief.

If you are in emotional, mental, or physical distress, call Sneha 044-24640050 or Aasra 9820466726 or SPEAK2us 9375493754

Private School Student, Catholic Teacher Among P&Ps on Today's List

Repeat child sex offender plea deals - Utah

Private school student expelled for sex assaults - Maryland

Catholic school teachers arraigned for CSA - Pennsylvania

Man charged with child porn and CSA - Pennsylvania

Man arrested after 'safe touch' talk at school - Illinois

Man arrested for several child sex abuse charges - Idaho

Man arrested for soliciting and CSA of 13 y/o - Illinois

Hurricane man pleads guilty in child sex abuse case

Kevin Jenkins

A Hurricane, Utah resident accused of sexually abusing a young girl pleaded guilty to related charges Monday morning as jury selection was scheduled to begin in the case.

Edward Scott Paulus, 39, of Hurricane accepted a plea agreement proffered by the prosecution that reduced a first-degree felony count of aggravated sexual abuse of a child to a second-degree felony charge without the aggravator enhancement, thereby reducing the potential maximum sentence from the possibility of life behind bars to 15 years on that charge.

Paulus also pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor count of being a registered sex offender unlawfully in the presence of a child.

According to the complaint filed with the court, Paulus allegedly watched the girl while she was using the bathroom and sexually abused her in the bathroom while he and his wife were babysitting her at their home.

Paulus was convicted in a separate child sexual abuse case 21 years ago and, although he was registered with the state as a sex offender, he had not notified the girl’s mother that he was a convicted sex offender, according to Deputy County Attorney Zachary Weiland.

Under the law, Paulus was required to obtain written permission from the girl’s family in order to be able to babysit her while on the sex offender registry, Weiland said. The complaint also states Paulus acknowledged violating court-ordered terms by picking the elementary school-aged child up at her school and driving her to his house.

The original aggravator enhancement stemmed from Paulus’ status as a person in a special position of trust over the child.

Defense attorney Edward Flint said his client entered his guilty plea while citing precedent established under a 1988 appeal of a Salt Lake City case. In that case, a drug suspect pleaded no contest to criminal charges but later won an appeal allowing him to withdraw his appeal and overturning the conviction because of the way the investigation was conducted and subsequently explained to the court.

Under the defense strategy, Paulus would potentially be able to withdraw his guilty plea if he wins an expected appeal of retired “senior” Judge Gary Stott’s adverse ruling regarding a medical expert the defense hoped to have testify on his behalf, Flint said.

During the initial investigation, Paulus’ wife acknowledged he had been in the bathroom with the girl on at least one occasion, but Paulus denied abusing the girl.

Paulus will undergo a pre-sentencing investigation to determine a prison or probation recommendation to Stott based on the defendant’s history and current mindset.

Sentencing is scheduled March 28.

Hurricane, UT

Former private-school student charged with

child sex abuse

Kai Reed 

News Anchor, Reporter, KBAL

The former student, a 15-year-old boy, was charged 10 days ago in connection with alleged incidents involving students that date back to November.

Administrators at the private Friends School in north Baltimore have been aware of the allegations for almost two months and are cooperating in the investigation.

Details are few because the boy is charged as a juvenile. Police said there were three alleged incidents, one in November, one in December and one in January. Two of the incidents occurred on campus, and one happened off campus. All incidents involved 15-year-old victims.

Parents have been informed of the investigation.

Police declined to comment on the ongoing investigation.

In a statement released Tuesday afternoon, a spokeswoman for the school said:

"At Friends School of Baltimore, the safety and security of the children entrusted to our care is our highest priority. We are deeply saddened and disturbed that one of our students is alleged to have victimized three other students. When the school learned of these allegations, we immediately informed law enforcement authorities and have provided our full cooperation in their investigation. The student accused of these offenses is no longer enrolled at the school. We cannot comment on and we have reached no conclusions regarding these allegations."

Montgomery County Catholic Early Education Center Teacher on Leave Amid Child Sex Abuse Charges

Norristown Police question day care worker after alleged nap time incident

By Dan Stamm

A Montgomery County Catholic school early education teacher remained behind bars Wednesday, suspended from his job, after being charged with multiple child sex assault counts stemming from an alleged incident with a 3-year-old girl.

A judge arraigned Michael Barbee, 32, of Yeadon, Pennsylvania on Saturday with involuntary deviate sexual  intercourse with a minor under 16 years old, aggravated indecent assault of a minor under 13 years old, unlawful contact with a minor and related charges. The charges date to Feb. 7, online court records said.

Barbee teaches at Saint Francis of Assisi School’s Early Learning Center in Norristown, Pennsylvania. The school referred NBC10’s calls to the Archdiocese of Philadelphia.

The Saint Francis Parish placed Barbee on administrative leave Friday after learning of the criminal investigation, archdiocesan spokesman Kenneth Gavin told NBC10.

Police began investigating Barbee after a 3-year-old girl complained of pain, said Norristown police in a criminal complaint obtained by NBC10's Deanna Durante.

Barbee initially denied having touched the girl but changed his story after taking a polygraph test, police said.

Barbee told investigators he put his hand down the girl's pants during nap time after the girl called him "stupid" while he was alone in the room with the girl and her classmates, said police. The girl said "ouch" and the incident last about 10 seconds, Barbee told police.

"Barbee admitted this contact was of a sexual nature," the criminal complaint said.

Barbee had no teaching duties at the actual parish school, only at the early education center, which is located in a separate building on the same grounds, Gavin said. In any case, the parish shared information on the arrest with early learning center families, parish school families and religious education families affiliated with the parish.

Prior to be being hired in the fall of 2015, Barbee passed background checks and had no previous indications of abuse, Gavin said.

Barbee remained jailed Wednesday on $750,000 bail. Online court records don’t list an attorney who could comment on the allegations.

The archdiocese urged anyone with information about sexual abuse allegations to contact the Victim Assistance Office of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia at 1-888-800-8780 or philavac@archphila.org.

Anyone with more information about Barbee is asked to contact Norristown police at 610-270-0977.

Midstate man faces child sex abuse charges

By Eric Veronikis

Police have filed child sex abuse charges against a Lancaster County man. 

Robert Lee Penwell, 68, of East Donegal Township, has been charged with four counts of sexual abuse of children and one count of criminal use of a communication facility stemming from a forensic search of computers from his home last year, police said. 

Investigators said they discovered child pornography on computer equipment seized from Penwell's home in the 300 block of Rivermoor Drive on Aug. 10. 

Penwell was arraigned on the charges Tuesday morning.

He is free on $100,000 bail.  

Dixon man arrested for child sexual abuse following school safety talks

BY SARAH TISINGER

DIXON, Illinois — A Dixon man has been arrested and charged with sexually abusing a child.

Timothy Zielinski, 54, is was arrested Wednesday, Feb. 15, and charged with three counts each of predatory criminal sexual assault of a child and aggravated criminal sexual abuse.

Dixon Police began an investigation following their Body Safety presentation. The program teaches children about safe and unsafe touches or secrets, and empowers children to tell adults if they are being sexually abused.

Zielinski is held in the Lee County Law Enforcement Building on a $250,000 bond.

Meridian child sexual abuse suspect arrested after running from police

BY NICOLE BLANCHARD

Meridian police late Tuesday night arrested a man who was on the run after being suspected of sexually assaulting a teenage girl.

Richard Dickson, 42, faces a felony charge of child sexual battery on a minor child 16 to 17 years of age, as well as a felony charge of drug trafficking in marijuana, according to the Ada County Jail. A Meridian Police Department press release said Dickson was arrested on multiple counts of sexual battery, as well as providing alcohol to a minor.

Meridian detectives arrested Dickson around 11:30 p.m. on Tuesday after executing a search warrant in the 10000 block of N. Horseshoe Bend Road in Eagle. The detectives identified the Eagle address after interview several associates of Dickson’s. The man refused to leave the residence initially, leading to the search warrant. Dickson then surrendered without incident.

According to police, Dickson is accused of giving a teen girl alcohol and initiating sexual contact with her on multiple occasions. A friend of the girl’s reportedly contacted police earlier this month with concerns about Dickson.

Dickson remained in jail on Wednesday morning.

Eagle, Idaho

Chicago man charged with soliciting child pornography, sexual abuse

Todd Shields Contact Reporter

Pioneer Press

A 22-year-old Chicago man faces charges after Barrington officers saw him meeting with a 13-year-old girl early Saturday in a parked car, police said.

Salman Patel, of the 1000 block of South State Street in Chicago, was charged with soliciting child pornography from a minor — a Class 1 felony — and aggravated criminal sexual abuse, a Class 2 felony, Barrington police said in a news release Tuesday.

On Saturday at 2:30 a.m., officers observed a vehicle parked in a lot to the Barrington Area Library, 505 N. Northwest Highway, and determined after further investigation that Patel was meeting with a 13-year-old girl while inside the vehicle, police said.

Police said Patel initially provided officers with a false name and birthdate to make himself seem younger. Officers then arrested Patel and placed the girl into protective custody, Barrington police said.

Investigators believe Patel also has had other relationships with underage children, police said. Barrington police did not provide additional details on the investigation.

Patel was released Sunday from the Lake County Adult Corrections Facility after posting $10,000 bond, police said.

Stopping Child Sexual Abuse

Recognizing the steps of grooming and

knowing safe and unsafe touch

Safe and unsafe touches: Yong says that personal safety programmes teach children how to fend for themselves. Photos: The Star/Azman Ghani

BY MAY CHIAM

When the crimes of child sex abuser Richard Huckle came to light, Malaysians were shocked and horrified. Huckle’s crimes provoked national outrage, and left many wondering how he could have gone undetected for so long. How had he managed to continue his abuse without anyone speaking up?

“A lot of offenders keep the secret by grooming children,” Protect and Save the Children (PS The Children) founder Madeleine Yong says. “Grooming builds a relationship of trust with the community, the adults, and the child.”

The NGO is one of the few in the country focused solely on combating child sexual abuse. When Huckle was arrested in December 2014, PS The Children was called upon by British police to go into the affected communities to provide safeguarding activities.

“These offenders go to places where they can access children. They become volunteers and church members, for example,” Yong says.

Child sexual abuse is a complex and taboo subject, one we’re reluctant to discuss for fear of causing offence or embarrassment. But our silence fosters a culture of ignorance that makes it difficult to disclose and uncover sexual abuse.

“We need nationwide training of all adults about the dynamics of child sexual abuse. We had a case of a coach who was sexually abusing his runners. They were all groomed.

“Grooming puts the responsibility on the child. The child thinks, ‘It’s my fault.’

“The grooming process keeps sexual abuse a secret. And the hallmark of sexual abuse is secrecy,” adds Yong.


In P.S The Children’s personal safety programme, these illustrations are used to demonstrate safe or unsafe situations

How grooming works

Like Huckle, most sexual offenders groom their victims. In S.A.F.E. Children, a toolkit for the prevention of child sexual abuse, PS The Children identifies a five-stage grooming process.

In the first stage, sexual predators “create opportunities” by going to places where children are. By being helpful and friendly, the sex offender gains the trust of the child and the adults around. His goal is to make everyone feel safe.

In the second stage, he “targets the child”. The targeted child is usually more vulnerable than his or her peers, with lower self-esteem and is less likely to reveal the abuse. The victim has an emotional void that the sex offender can fill. Once he gains the victim’s full trust and dependence, he starts “twisting” the relationship.

In the third and fourth stages, the predator introduces physical touch and sexual touch.

“After he befriends the child, he normalises physical touch. “He’ll say, ‘Well done!’, and pat the child on the back. Then he goes from physical touch to sexual touch (abuse).”

In the final stage, the child is manipulated – oftentimes coerced and intimidated – into “keeping the secret”. Once shrouded in shame and secrecy, it becomes even harder for the child to speak out.

“Most children have amazing hearts. They want the attacks to stop, but they don’t want any harm to happen to the sex offender. The relationship makes it very difficult for a child to disclose (the sexual abuse). And it takes a lot for a child to disclose,” says Yong.

The onus is on parents and adult caregivers to step up. They must be aware of changes in behaviour and how to respond when a child reveals abuse.

“We advocate for adults to be alert,” Yong continues.

“We had a preschool girl who one day didn’t have dinner. And grandma said, ‘Are you sick?’ And the girl said, ‘I don’t want to go back to school tomorrow; there’s karate classes.’ And the grandma asks, ‘Did anything happen?’ Then the child disclosed.”

Yong urges parents not to react inappropriately – dismissing claims, passing judgment – but to respond calmly. Instead of closing communication channels, parents should be open to any disclosures of abuse.

“Parents should get training on the dynamics of sexual abuse and how to run a personal safety training workshop.

“Be alert, knows the signs, and know how to report. If adults are safeguarding – if there’s a community that looks out for sex offenders – sex offenders aren’t going to be so bold,” she says.

Signing children up for personal safety training programmes is also critical. While there is a compulsory personal safety component in the pre-school curriculum, Yong says that teachers rarely cover how to prevent child sexual abuse.

“It’s stated that you have to cover personal safety, so a lot of schools just teach children how to cross the road safely. They’re not teaching personal safety in terms of abuse. We teach personal safety in terms of sexual abuse but in a child-friendly way,” Yong says.

“One thing that we teach is ‘Say no, run, and tell!’”. We make it fun. We dance and sing. We ask the children if they like their body parts, like their eyes and nose. Then we teach them the proper names for their private parts to remove the shame,” says PS The Children training and education executive Ting Pei Lim. The NGO’s personal safety training programme is called Keeping Me Safe, and is modified for pre-school, primary, and secondary children. There are also workshops for adults.

In the pre-school programme, children are taught three basic “Touching Rules”. The first that no one should touch their private body parts except to keep them healthy. The second that if they’re touched and they don’t like it, they should say no, run away, and tell someone. The third is that they should tell someone they trust and to keep telling until someone helps them.

The children are also taught about safe and unsafe touches, which are associated with emotion. A safe touch makes a child experience positive feelings, while an unsafe touch does not.

“You get the child to discern, so they can decide what is a safe or unsafe touch,” Yong explains. “We do this as preventive, so the children have the skills to know what to do.”

Yong and her team at PS The Children are elated that Huckle has been brought to justice, but they know too well the stealthy offenders who still lurk in our backyard.

“We know many other local children who’ve been sexually abused where the offenders got no convictions; at least Huckle got convicted.

“But it’s the same thing here in Malaysia. You get the same local abusers here,” says Yong.

“Until the criminal justice system tightens up and the conviction rate is a lot higher, it’s still going to remain the same,” she continues. “You can have a lot of awareness, but until the system supports the child, you’re constantly going to have this problem.”

CSA Survivor Brings Erin's Law Crusade to Alabama

Just a couple days ago I suggested that the Province of Nova Scotia look at implementing Erin's Law, or something similar. Here is Erin's story and the latest on Erin's Law in the US.

Erin Merryn - my hero of the decade

Illinois-native Erin Merryn has made a name for herself by speaking out about the sexual abuse she suffered at an early age.

"I am putting (child sexual abuse) in America's face across this country to realize what an epidemic it is, and we can't allow these predators to have the power and control over our children as they have in the past," she told AL.com. "It is time to silence them and give kids a voice."

For five years, Merryn, 30, has lobbied in states across the country for Erin's Law, which would makes it a requirement to teach students in pre-kindergarten-12th grade personal body safety - knowing the difference between safe touches and unsafe touches and safe secrets and unsafe secrets.

Erin's Law has passed in 21 states and is pending in 22 others.

Merryn is now taking her fight to the state of Alabama.

"Alabama needs this law because just like everywhere else in America children are being sexually abused," she said, adding 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18. "I tell teachers these kids are sitting in our classrooms looking at you and you don't even know it."

Rep. Terri Collins, R-Decatur, has sponsored Erin's Law in Alabama. The bill has yet to be discussed in the Legislature, and it's unclear what support it will have from lawmakers and the Alabama Department of Education.

Collins has yet to hear from the Department of Education on the potential cost, and if the law is needed to implement awareness programs across the state.

Collins said she is sponsoring the bill because she believes in personal body safety education and has worked in abuse prevention programs since the 1980s.

State Rep. Terri Collins,

"When my babies were little ... God laid it on my heart that I needed to do something, and I didn't know what," she said. "And, that very night as I was picking my kids up from the nursery and the nursery worker was involved in Charity League and she asked me to join them."

When Collins heard that one of their projects was teaching children about unsafe touch and how to report their abuse, she agreed to get involved.

The non-profit organization, Parents and Children Together, already provides sexual abuse prevention education to first, third, seventh and 10th grade students in Morgan County. Using puppets, PACT teaches young children to "trust your gut" and tell someone they trust if something is happening to them that makes them feel bad.

While she hasn't seen Erin's Law, Susan Roberts, executive director of PACT, said it would be "phenomenal" if students across the state could receive the education.

After nearly every training session, at least one student will come forward to report their abuse or the abuse or someone they know, she said.

Last year alone, Morgan County received 432 reports of child abuse involving 627 students, Roberts said. She doesn't know how many were substantiated.

Merryn said sexual abuse education can be implemented in schools for little or no cost.

Roberts disagrees saying obtaining the curriculum and having someone to teach it to thousands of students each year isn't cheap.

PACT provided the education to 6,400 Morgan County students last year for free. It cost the organization $60,000.

Merryn said the curriculum is available for $75-125, and the programs can be taught by existing school counselors, psychologists or health teachers.

But no matter the cost, she said the training is essential.

Erin's story

Merryn said she was taught throughout childhood on tornado and fire drills and to stay away from strangers, but she was never told what to do if her best friend's uncle or a relative raped her.

From the ages of 6 to 8, Merryn was molested and raped by her best friend's uncle when she stayed at her house overnight.

Later, her family moved and she escaped that abuse, only to then be molested by an older teenage cousin from the ages of 11-13.

"He threatened me every time that this was our secret, no one would believe me, and I would destroy our family if I told," Merryn said.

"The only message I was getting as a child was from the men hurting me and that came from threats to silence me," she continued. "Had I been taught to speak up and not keep this a secret, on what a safe touch and unsafe touch is, a safe secret and an unsafe secret is, I feel I would have spoken up from the start instead of being abused for years as a child. What made the abuse finally end -- nope it wasn't being educated on how to speak up and tell -- it was my little sister coming to me with the same secret our cousin was molesting her too."

Merryn has written three books on her experiences, the latest being "An Unimaginable Act." She has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, CNN and many others.

People Magazine named her one of 15 women changing the world alongside Oprah, Hilary Clinton, and Malala last year. Glamour Magazine named her Woman of the Year in 2012.

And, the most prestigious of all - I have named her 'hero of the decade'! OK, maybe not quite the most prestigious of all. Nevertheless, this beautiful, young woman, driven by her suffering and by the horror of her little sister enduring the same evil, is well worthy of the title.

God bless her for overcoming the damage done to her and for taking this law across the US. I dearly hope and pray it (she) will come to Canada soon.