By the time they've reached Grade 6, the majority of children in B.C. will have seen some form of pornography
CBC News  |
| Sex therapist Jason Winters says sex education needs to address the pornography children are watching to help prevent sexual problems later in life. (drjasonwinters.com) |
"If you have kids who have had no real education about what a relationship looks like … once they start watching pornography ... they're going to make assumptions about what sex is going to look like later," said Winters.
"If pornography becomes your blueprint, because you know nothing else, then ... when you do encounter a real partner, there's going to be frustration and disappointment."
'Access to porn is easy'
Winters teaches a course on human sexuality at the University of British Columbia and treats patients privately for a range of sex-related issues, including pornography addiction.
He says he acknowledges many parents don't want pornography discussed as part of sex education, but calls that a head-in-the-sand approach.
"Parents think if it doesn't get talked about at school, their kids won't be interested in it, or won't find it," he said.
"Access to porn is easy, it's absolutely everywhere ... All young men watch porn and now many young women do as well."
But as Winters points out, porn distills sex down to the absolute and most intense part of the fantasy — there's rarely even a conversation before sex happens.
So if kids watch porn without context, they have no idea that this isn't a relationship, he says.
'What is intimacy? What is love?'
Winters says sex education needs to discuss more than just the anatomy and risks of sex — and put pornography in context, by discussing exactly what it is missing.
"What is intimacy? What is love? What are the emotions that you feel? ... What are the impacts of relationships on you? How can you stand up for what you want and what you don't want?"
"These key components of intimacy are all missing from the sex ed curriculum, much like they're also missing from pornography."
Winters advises starting sex education early, to establish a way of talking about sex that doesn't involve embarrassment and shame.
It may be awkward for parents or teachers now, but it may pay off in the long run. Winter says a lot of clients' sexual problems were made much worse by the messages they received growing up.
"It's made it impossible to seek help, or talk about these things — until it gets to the point where it's a crisis," he said.
"Those who oppose this discussion are doing a huge disservice to their kids ... The stage gets set at a young age."
What do you think about that? I'm inclined to agree with him as I see pornography as a major contributor to the culture of rape in universities. Putting porn into context might very well begin to address that problem.
I have difficulty with discussing sex in schools at an early age, although I do believe his reasoning for doing so is valid. My concern is in who is going to teach it, and how is it going to be taught. There is no room in schools for modesty anymore, and I wonder if sex education is part of that?
Meanwhile, on the first day of school, yesterday...
A protest against the province's sex-ed curriculum was held outside Thorncliffe Park Public school in East York (Toronto) Tuesday.
Ryan Bird, a spokesman for the Toronto District School Board, estimated that nearly 700 students, about half the school population, did not come to school as a result of the rally.
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| Sex-ed protesters denounce Wynne at Thorncliffe Park |
On Saturday, Premier Kathleen Wynne's visit to a back-to-school fair in Thorncliffe Park was met with some vocal opposition over the sex-education curriculum.
Thorncliffe Park has a large immigrant population. Immigrants with conservative or strong faith-based backgrounds have been among the most vocal critics of the province's new plan.
Complaints from parents have ranged from a lack of consultation with them, to lessons not being age-appropriate, to not wanting their kids to be taught about same-sex relationships and different gender identities.
Premier Kathleen Wynne said in addition to thousands of school council chairs, 70 health organizations and parent groups were consulted in crafting the new curriculum, which had not been updated since 1998.
"This is the most widely consulted upon curriculum in the history of the province," she said Tuesday.
"When we write curriculum … on geography or social studies or mathematics, that kind of consultation does not happen because that's not how curriculum has been historically written in the province.
C'mon Kat, that's academic curriculum. Social curriculum is completely different. One has to wonder if this is not an attempt at social engineering by the lesbian premier and her supporters?
"We felt there was a need to have a broader consultation with parents on this curriculum."
Sandals warns of 'misinformation'
Progressive Conservative MPP Monte McNaughton, who has been a staunch opponent of the curriculum, is urging Wynne to shelve the document and start over by consulting parents.
The party's new leader, Patrick Brown, notably did not broach the issue in his statement marking the first day of school.
He said last week he wants to "make sure parents have a say on how much and when."
Education Minister Liz Sandals urged parents who are opposed to the curriculum to first talk to teachers and principals because there is "a lot of misinformation" being circulated, but each school board does have a policy on withdrawing students from particular classes.
So, it is not universally possible for students to withdraw from the sex-ed classes.
However, she said, the majority of the feedback she has received has been positive.
"I have never in my life been just stopped on the street by strangers so often [who] said, 'Thank you for doing this. Hang in there. We want this program."'
Ontario sex-ed dispute: Why 1 mother will keep her kids home
A Mississauga, Ontario, mother says she would prefer to home school her two daughters rather than subject them to an Ontario sex-education curriculum she says teaches kids "too much too soon."
Farina Siddiqui, a mother of three, appeared on CBC's Metro Morning on Wednesday, one day after nearly 700 students stayed out of Thorncliffe Park public school to protest the new sex-ed curriculum.
On Wednesday, the words "shame on you" were sprayed on the walls of Thorncliffe Park public school and the neighbouring Fraser Mustard Early Learning Academy.
Siddiqui told CBC host Matt Galloway she intends to home school her two daughters, who are in Grades 6 and Grade 8, because the new curriculum doesn't mesh well with her personal beliefs as a Muslim.
"I've been thinking about it. I had a discussion with my daughters and we all decided together that it's the best solution for them," she said.
Galloway pressed Siddiqui about what she's opposed to, specifically, in the revamped curriculum.
"If I summarize it in one line, it's too much, too soon and I don't agree with that," she said.
Siddiqui said the "information sharing" in the new curriculum, in which kids learn the correct names of their body parts starting in Grade 1, begins too early.
"They don't need to learn this at this young age," she said. "They don't need to know the layers of all the body parts."
She said the "opt out option is a joke" and that officials in the Peel District School Board have told her they can't accommodate students who choose to not take part in lessons about sexuality.
Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne has said "it's very unfortunate" if parents decide to take their kids out of school over opposition to the new curriculum, but said ultimately it's their decision.
Teaching of the new curriculum begins this year. It's the first time the sex-education curriculum has been updated since 1998, and includes:
Students in Grade 1 will be taught the correct names of body parts.
By Grade 2, they will learn about the broad concept of consent.
By Grades 4 and 5, students will learn about puberty, while education about intercourse will take place the following year.
Masturbation and "gender expression" will be taught in Grade 6.
Students in Grades 7 and 8 will discuss contraception, anal and oral sex, preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
Students will also learn about the dangers of sharing sexually explicit images through texting and social media, something that wasn't prevalent when the curriculum was last updated.
The 'broad concept of consent' - what does that mean? Is it going to teach them about 'safe-touch' and 'unsafe-touch'? Is it going to teach them about 'good secrets' and 'bad secrets'? Is it going to teach them how to tell someone, and who to tell, about someone inappropriately touching them? Pedophilia is a much bigger problem than a lack of knowledge of body parts, gender fluidity, or even safe-sex, yet it does not appear to be addressed here at all.
Is this really about the kids, or is it social engineering?
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